You can download the pod on iTunes or LISTEN TO THE POD ON BLOGTALKRADIO.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!

We hope you enjoyed our last episode:
The MFF Podcast #52: Drafting the Perfect Cinematic Basketball Team

SUMMARY:  This week we discuss, review and spoil in extreme detail the recent DC comic blockbuster Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016).  We share our feelings, delights and disillusions of Batfleck, the purity of Superman and just how Lex Luthor and Wonder Woman fit into this elaborate plot.

We also answer such important questions as…

“What VERSUS movies are we dying to see?”

“Was Wonder Woman the best part of BvS?”

“What do iconic movie characters like to drink?”

“Did the plot of BvS make any sense at all?”

“Why does Perry White think Football is more important than superheroes?”

LISTEN TO THE POD ON BLOGTALKRADIO,
or head over iTunes so you can download, REVIEW, RATE and SHARE the pod.

MY CALL: The Purge (2013) was perfection. I like what DeMonaco was “trying” to do with this sequel, but he missed the target this time–which is especially shocking when considering his mastery in capturing the atmosphere of the first. As such, I’d advise you to watch Anarchy if you’re a Frank Grillo fan more than if you’re a Purge fan. This really wasn’t a terrible movie–just not at all a good one. MORE MOVIES LIKE The Purge: Anarchy: Well you’ve got to see the original The Purge (2013). In fact, maybe just watch part 1 twice…in a row…then skip part 2 and go see part 3.

With the Purge eliminating poverty and unemployment (presumably by “deleting” undesirables), the United States is a wonderful place in 2023. A wonderful place because of the inner demons cleansed by 12 murderous hours once a year.

Writer/director James DeMonaco (The Purge, The Purge: Election Year) tries to impress us by re-introducing us to the Purge, its supporters and vocal resistance, practitioners and abstainers. Instead of unleashing the beast by laying siege to Ethan Hawke’s house, we follow some unwilling Purge participants stranded out in the streets on the most dangerous night of the year. They serendipitously end up being led by Frank Grillo (The Grey, Warrior, Mother’s Day, Captain America: The Winter Soldier), who dominates the screen and manages to make this otherwise sorry sequel watchable with his mysterious Purger-with-a-secret. But wait… he “is” out on Purge night so it begs the question…can they trust him?

We see how the lower, middle and upper class purge. Unfortunately, we’re already quite familiar with this world from the stellar performances in the original The Purge (2013) and nothing new is really offered beyond this change in perspective.

That’s not to say that the sociopaths preparing for the Purge, eerily waving at their soon-to-be victims wasn’t unnerving–it just lacked the degree of undiscovered menace that made its predecessor so shiny and new.

It’s like the thrill of discovery in learning the secrets and nuance of The Matrix (1999), followed by the disenchanted reaction of revisiting its inner workings in The Matrix: Reloaded (2003). But this comparison really isn’t fair. The Matrix: Reloaded (2003) is still awesome much as the Silver or Bronze medalist at the Olympics would compare to the Gold-toting original (1999), whereas Anarchy is more like a fat guy with type-II diabetes and a sprained ankle compared to the two-time winner of the Boston Marathon that is The Purge (2013). But let me tell you how I really feel…

Outside of our solid lead cast, the secondary actors provision the screen with stale performances. The social allegory that was once so organically powerful now feels forced and the new commentary intended to add intrigue to the story (and the social/political evolution of The Purge) is delivered in such a manner that it falls flat.

Seeing this makes me want to go back and watch The Purge (2013) again–which I found to be perfection. I like what DeMonaco was “trying” to do with this sequel, but I fear that he missed the target this time–which is especially shocking when considering his mastery in capturing the atmosphere of the first. As such, I’d sooner advise you to watch Anarchy if you’re a Frank Grillo fan than if you’re a Purge fan–however, Purge fans won’t want to miss it as it will clearly bridge us into the third installment’s plot. But with that said, this really wasn’t a terrible movie–just not a good one and definitely doing zero justice to part one. I didn’t hate it. I won’t be buying it either… Not unless it comes at a discount in a triple movie blu-ray pack with The Purge: Election Year.

If you want a second opinion check out Mark’s review: The Purge: Anarchy: When a Bad Movie Happens to a Good Idea.

This thing looks like someone got Yoda wet, then fed him after midnight. LOL

MY CALL: Any pleasure to be derived from this Voodoo demon movie–besides giggling at its general badness–is limited to just a handful of scenes surrounded by boring plot and sinful acting. Watch with caution; probably only for the obscure 80s horror fanatics out there…which I am, so I thought it was okay. MORE MOVIES LIKE Headhunter: Other horror movies set in the Sunshine State include Day of the Dead (1985) in Fort Meyers, Jaws 3-D (1983), Jupiter’s American Horror Story: Freakshow (2014) and Frogs (1972), Jeepers Creepers (2001) and Swamp Thing (1982). Other absurd 80s-era horror include Rawhead Rex (1986), Night Angel (1990), Nightwish (1990), Prince of Darkness (1987), Dreamaniac (1986), Def by Temptation (1990), Ghosthouse (1986), Manitou (1978) and Deadly Blessing (1981)…probably all of which are better than Headhunter.

This poster makes it look like a totally different movie.
Where are all the voodoo curse demons?
Looks like a possession movie poster.

It takes a while for this movie to get to the point…or to get to anything that matters at all. Opening shots long-windedly depict Voodoo rituals in Africa when something goes wrong. Something that we obviously wouldn’t get to see in the first five minutes. But we get the idea that this something is summoned when chaotic POV shots give a nod to an Evil Dead demon.

This opening sequence is unnecessarily long and at first I thought I was watching a documentary or something on the National Geographic channel.  Speaking of which, we do get to see National Geographic-style nudity…but no nudity later during a shower scene.  Go figure.

Meanwhile in south Florida, a Miami cop (Wayne Crawford; Barracuda) with some drinking issues discovers that his wife (June Chadwick; Forbidden World) has a lesbian lover and he starts sleeping with his partner (Kay Lenz; House). The editing is terrible, the acting is scarier than the movie, and none of the aforementioned aspects of this cop’s life really matter at all with regard to the plot.

She is sulking like all the time.

As for what little plot there is to discuss, it seems that a poor Nigerian community has brought their voodoo practices (and curses) across the Atlantic to Florida…and judging by the recent crime scenes, they brought their voodoo demon with them. A local community leader, voodoo shaman and somehow wealthy African Studies professor (to my knowledge neither shaman nor professor are lucrative careers) altruistically appears to help our Miami cops “track down” this demon…sort of…well, not really. You see, at first he finds them and says he wants to help. Then he reveals that he really can’t do any more than tell them the recent chain of murders are linked to a curse that followed his people from Nigeria. No weaknesses, no origins, no mythology or folklore…just, yeah, a decapitating curse demon that somehow needs to be stopped.

In the first hour of this tragic low budget B-movie (or D-movie), our evil force is represented by POV shots, wind/telekinesis and a curved blade (like that of a khopesh, or sword). We see heads, then we don’t see heads, there’s some blood where heads used to be…it’s all pretty weak. But it’ll make you grin.

This movie just needlessly drags. You know what’s an awesome B-movie idea? A voodoo demon that hunts people down and chops off their heads because of some curse that goes entirely unexplained. You know what’s not a cool idea? A movie about a south Florida detective whose wife is cheating on him with another woman. This unambitious D-movie gives us both and, as a result of this plot beleaguered by our protagonist’s personal crisis, this movie is only awesome for about 10 minutes. Two of these brilliantly bad minutes feature the most frantic chainsaw shopping scene in film history. A couple more minutes feature a bath tub filled with severed body parts and blood.

When we finally see our demon headhunter at the very end of the movie, we enjoy a silly latex monstrosity that looks more like the swamp hag from Legend (1985) wielding a sword than anything that makes me think of Africa or voodoo. Our hero ends up saving his lovely partner in a voodoo demon sword versus chainsaw duel. Then movie is just “over” after about 90 seconds of decent action and fun. No explanation, no catharsis, no finishing the tale of the Nigerian voodoo curse demon…we just assume everything’s fine after some cheesy chainsaw dismemberment.

Beyond that there’s a nudity-free shower scene and little gore, no good reason for not showing us the monster earlier or more often, and pretty much nothing in the way of atmosphere or scares.

Any pleasure to be derived from this movie–besides giggling at its general badness, which is often just as annoying than funny–is limited to just a handful of scenes surrounded by boring plot and sinful acting. Watch with caution; probably only for the obscure 80s horror fanatics out there…which I am, so I thought it was okay.

MY CALL: This is a pretty damn impressive horror short film about a boyfriend who’s not as faithful as his girlfriend thinks, and his girlfriend’s monstrous family secret. MORE MOVIES LIKE Brother: Here at MFF we occasionally do horror short film reviews. Among recent solicited promotions are Order of the Ram (2013), TRAILER TALK: Blood Money and Short Film Buzz: Burn (2016). We also did a solicited review of the indie techno-horror Other Halves (2016).

Description: Directed by Alrik Bursell and starring @ComedianCapone, Brother is an indie drama/horror film starring comedian Capone Lee about family and relationships and how sometimes the two struggle to get along. Shot on location in Oakland, CA, Brother is a completely independent horror short film with a focus on strong characters and old school practical effects. Brother also stars local actor Dezi Soley and LA based actor David O’Donnell. Brother made its premiered at the 14th Oakland International Film Festival.

Facebook page
Movie Website
@alrikb @ComedianCapone

My greatest relief arrived in the first 5 seconds when the characters (the lead couple) were instantly likable, the writing felt totally natural, and the actors had immediate on-screen chemistry. Just trust me on this. This basically never happens. When the brother character arrived I felt that the relationships were still somewhat natural, but less organic than the pristine opening scene.

I was also impressed with the camerawork. The opening scene included a great swing-around shot when the couple approached the lake. Nice continuous shots like this in lieu of multiple cuts may go unnoticed to most viewers, but I feel they (with fewer cuts and a more natural feel) enhance everyone’s experience.

With all three characters on screen things feel good, but there’s something missing. This may sound overly critical, but honestly short films suffer this more often than feature length because we’ve had less time to engage our main characters and cultivate an investment in them.

I was especially pleased with the sound editing. The sound of pouring a glass of wine may seem trivial at times, but without such nuance the atmosphere can stale over quickly with an overly sterile feel. Great work on the texting/media presentation as well.

Right about now would be a good time for you to stop reading and give this short film a watch. No worries, it’s just a brisk 10 minutes. Then we’ll get back to our criticism…

To watch the short film CLICK HERE

I must aim my greatest criticism on the boyfriend (David O’Donnell). I actually feel that he has by far the best highlights in terms of natural line delivery. However, the revelations of his infidelity–staring at the jogger in the opening scene with little regard to his girlfriend (Dezi Solèy) possibly noticing, candidly admitting to her brother that he was seeing multiple women when he met her, and dismissively agreeing that she’s “sweet”–all should have been more subtle. I fail to believe that approaching a possible engagement that she would have never noticed his poorly hidden and frequent interests in, for example, a random runner prancing by. But again, I must offer a fair defense that we only have 10 minutes to develop our story and, as such, some things must be comparably rushed to make our points with alacrity. That said, I imagine a longer version of this film would offer a better-substantiated and more natural foundation for these monogamy-fleeting behaviors.

Likewise, her argument with her brother (Capone Lee) feels as if it advances at a rushed pace, skipping much detail. But, people, 10 minute short film. All things considered, I feel this is going resplendently compared to most of my solicited indie reviews, and I’m largely enjoying this. I want to see the feature length version of this.

I often comment that “the fledgling director has much to offer in terms of [BLANK]” or that “I like what they were trying to do, but perhaps with a larger budget…” But here I have little criticism outside of aforementioned issues. And can I just say how awesome Dezi Solèy was in her first role? Fantastic.

The special effects were part CGI and part practical. I liked both. Again, better quality than I’ve come to expect from solicited submissions by far.

All that remains is for these filmmakers to move forward and make a feature length film or a longer (perhaps 20-30 min) short film out of this…perhaps for the next V/H/S-style anthology movie. I’d certainly like to see it!

Also, just as a sidenote, anyone who thinks this is a fluff review because I’m flattered to have been asked to review this…you’re quite wrong. Just check out my previous solicited reviews (all hyperlinked above). You’ll find that I’m quite critical (even at times brutally honest) but fair to the merits presented. And these filmmakers and actors have shown the kind of merits I want to see more.

MY CALL: The poster art makes this movie look like something you’d want to skip. But trust me, DON’T SKIP IT. This is solid gold B+ horror and a decent evil doll movie that borrows heavily from Child’s Play (1988) and Poltergeist (1982). MORE MOVIES LIKE Dolly Dearest: There’s no shortage of evil doll movies on the market and they come in all different flavors. Puppet Master 1-5 (1989), The Boy (2016), Child’s Play (1988), Curse of Chucky (2013) and Poltergeist (1982), from which this movie borrows heavily. But not Annabelle (2014; podcast discussion of Annabelle), which was just garbage on film. Other horror movies that take Americans to Mexico and Central America are The Ruins (2008) and Indigienous (2014).

The Wade family moves from Los Angeles into a Mexican home sight-unseen after buying a Mexican doll factory sight-unseen. Already, this plot sounds like something that would only feasibly happen in a bad horror movie…nobody does that! But this is their lucky day, because some ancient Mayan ruins are nearby and an anthropologist accidently unleashed a ball of red glowing energy–errrr, I mean, an evil spirit!

Hmmm…noticing the similarities yet?

After being given a doll from the factory, their young daughter begins acting strangely. Her mother Marylin (Denise Crosby; Pet Sematary) has caught her talking to “Dolly” frequently, she draws violent depictions of animals, hisses at priests and rosaries, and speaks in the ancient Sanzian language to their devout housekeeper.

What’s more is that we (the audience) see the Dolly move on her own and it’s implied that she scampers about the house at night very early in the film. And once her murderous intentions are known, we see Dolly’s creepy little doll hands locking doors and picking up sharp objects, sneaking, hiding and stabbing! It’s straight out of the Child’s Play (1988) playbook staged in a Mexican Poltergeist (1982) scenario.

The jump scares are tedious but Dolly is sufficiently creepy (even scary) enough to make it work…and well! As the story progresses, so too does the little girl’s weirdness. She becomes increasingly attached to Dolly and disengaged from her family…even hostile to them.

Dolly, like Chucky, gets meaner and uglier.

This may not be a good film, but it’s a solid B-horror. It’s greatest gift is its pacing. Most B-horror takes 40-60 minutes for anything at all interesting to happen. Whereas we find eerie goings on with Dolly nearly from the start, ambulatory murderous Dolly within about 30 minutes, and after an hour things continue to escalate into bonkersville. There are no great effects, but the walking talking creepy dolls are every bit as effective as we need for his to be a lot of fun.

Speaking of this being a B-movie, Rip Torn (The Man Who Fell to Earth, RoboCop 3) plays an archaeologist and seemingly shows up for no other reason than to explain that Sanzia means “Satan on Earth,” reveal the ancient burial grounds entomb a Devil child with a goat head, and to blurt out an occasional displaced Spanish phrase even though everyone is always speaking English. He is movie exposition personified, walking and talking and explaining everything.

Dolly and Chucky are both quite industrious.

By the way, the dolls follow suit behind Child’s Play (1988) pretty hard. They utter similar lines like “now we’ll be together forever” and “time to play” and their faces become more and more evil-looking as we approach the finale as if they were slowly sapping the soul and humanity from the little girl to transmute Dolly into a living entity of flesh. Then you have Rip Torn filling the Zelda Rubenstein’s Poltergeist (1982) role and the ancient burial ground unleashing spirits that want the youngest child, a little girl whose parents have moved for the father’s job, just like Carol Anne and her family–plus the slightly older boy who discovers the evil, just like Caroll Anne’s brother.

Older brothers…they’re protective and they mean well, but it usually turns out bad.

After this film, writer/director Maria Lease went on to do a few episodes of the sultry Silk Stalkings show and then backed off from direction entirely. I’m not sure why she didn’t do more horror. Not only did this movie surprisingly not suck, it was pretty solidly entertaining. I had been procrastinating seeing this for over a decade (some of the poster/cover art is not very promising LOL) and now I find myself recommending it to fans of evil doll movies and 80s-90s B-movie horror…as this was more of a B+ movie (the same can be said for Pumpkinhead and Subspecies 1-2).

Oh look, there’s more of them. And they get uglier as the movie goes on.

The poster art makes this movie look like something you’d want to skip. But trust me, DON’T SKIP IT. This is solid gold B+ horror and a decent evil doll movie!

MY CALL: This sequel makes me miss the rigid acting in Leprechaun (1993). Although Warwick Davis remains forever a pleasure on screen, his surroundings, supporting cast and writing have collapsed around him like a straw house! MORE MOVIES LIKE Leprechaun 2: Leprechaun (1993) and the loads of sequels taking Warwick Davis from “da hood” to outer space. But whatever you do, don’t watch Leprechaun: Origins (2014)–terrible even for a direct-to-DVD B-movie.

You’ll probably want a drink to get through this…

We begin in Ireland 1000 years ago, as our Leprechaun (Warwick Davis) celebrates his 1000th birthday on which he may magically choose his bride by saying “God bless you” after she sneezes thrice. Stupidest ritual ever!!!! But his marital prophecy is foiled and he curses that on his yet next 1000th birthday he’ll marry her fairest offspring. Barf! This sounds awful. And why is he dressed like a green wizard!?!

So here we are on St. Patrick’s Day 1994, his 2000th birthday, and the mythological wee person emerges from a tree in Hollywood, California. To preempt your question, I have no clue whatsoever why he was in that tree or for how long or how he got across the Atlantic Ocean. Perhaps he teleported–as we learned he can do in part 1 when he has his gold and, thus, his powers. But wait…didn’t we last leave him dead in a well in South Dakota????

I’m left to wonder how this creature of Irish folklore emerged from this tree in 1994 when, in 1993, we last saw him melting to death after a kid slingshot a four-leaf clover down his throat. Remember that? Because evidently it slipped director Rodman Flender’s (The Unborn, Idle Hands) mind.”

Yeah, that was pretty awesome!

A lot seemed to slip his mind. Like when the Leprechaun refers to St. Patrick’s “feast day” on his 1000th birthday in the year 994…which predates it being known as a feast day by about 700 years! Moreover, if his 2000th birthday is in 1994 then this Leprechaun was born in the year 7 BC (and not 6 BC, since there is no year zero), 401 years BEFORE Saint Patrick (AD 365-461) was even alive and before some pretty important Christian stuff happened regarded naming saints and all that jazz! So not only are the writer and director rather uninformed Christians (and historians), but they also seem to have made a “part 2” that behaves as if “part 1” never happened.

What’s more is that the practice of saying “God bless you” in response to a sneeze is not recorded prior to the year 77 AD. However it’s expected to predate the earliest recorded (or “written”) history, so we’ll let that one slide. But hold on, according to the Irish Folk story “Master and Man” by Thomas Crofton Croker one of the purposes of saying “God bless you” is to serve as a shield against evil. Other variations are to protect the sneezer from momentary vulnerability to the Devil as the soul can escape during a sneeze, or that the sneeze itself is an effort to expel the evil (this Wikipedia article explains some of it). It seems that no matter which historical variant of the phrase we choose, it makes absolutely no sense for the Leprechaun to say this to complete a prophecy in which an innocent virgin’s soul is forever claimed against her will by an evil Leprechaun.

If you drink enough, you won’t notice any of these writing issues.

Well, in either case the Leprechaun’s back and in control of his pot of gold. And now, why ISN’T he dressed as a wizard?!? Not that he ever should have been, but CONSISTENCY, people!

His magic permits him to control prehensile tree roots, cause hallucinations, and manifest telekinesis. At one point he uses his powers of illusion to make a horny teenager think an exposed lawnmower blade was a pair of bare breasts so that when he goes in for a motorboat he got the wrong kind of motor in his face!

Unfortunately the kill occurs off-camera, thus highlighting the destitute budget–which accordingly reflects all other aspects of this film’s production value. But there was one entertaining on-screen kill when a snippety barista (Michael McDonald; Mad TV) gets steamed to death with a bloody blistered face.

The Leprechaun finally claims his bride in magical bondage (via three prophesied sneezes and a “blessing”) and takes her home to his tree in Hollywood. Yep. Evidently he has lived there for a while, creating yet more discontinuity with Part 1. His lair is a labyrinthine subterranean Hobbit hole.

He just needs to reclaim a gold shilling before he can consummate the marriage. And things get festive when retrieving his gold is literally down by removing it from someone’s stomach.

Doing away with four leaf clovers and shoe-shining compulsions, the movie crescendos into a lackluster finale culminating in an explosion when the Leprechaun is defeated by his ancient weakness, wrought iron. His explosive death pales in comparison to his melting scene in Part 1 and after our protagonists escape his lair the movie “just ends.” Watch out for a cameo by MTV Lifetime Achievement Award Winner Clint Howard (Lords of Salem).

While this movie has its bad movie delights here and there, recognizing Clint might just be one of the more satisfying highlights for you.

Disclaimer: This review was solicited by the filmmakers. However, my opinion remains unbiased as I was neither hired nor paid to produce this critical review.

MY CALL: This promising slasher short film largely offers aspects of horror tropes that I enjoy. If you feel the same, consider contributing to their Kickstarter Campaign. MORE INDIE MOVIES LIKE Scythe: Here at MFF we occasionally do horror short film and pre-release indie film reviews on request. Among recent solicited promotions are Order of the Ram (2013; short film), Love in the Time of Monsters (2014; feature length), In the Dark (2015; feature length), Trailer Talk: The Void, TRAILER TALK: Blood Money, Short Film Buzz: Burn (2016; press release), Brother (2016; short film), and the indie techno-horror Other Halves (2016; feature length).

Description: Directed/written by Jim Rothman and starring Jose C. Alvarez, Zailee Madrigal and Andrea Muller, Scythe is a psychological Slasher/Thriller in the same vein of Halloween (1978), Saw (2004) and the work of Hitchcock.

Facebook page
Movie Website
IMDB
Twitter: @ScytheJim

I always get nervous with the solicited screening/reviewing of short films. My first worry is the acting quality, which thankfully was solid right out of the gates as we meet two college girls much like some of those we’ve known. One (Zailee Madrigal) being laid back and carefree, the other (Andrea Muller) is clearly more high strung as we see her insecurities organically unfold.

Right about now would be a good time for you to stop reading and give this short film a watch. No worries, it’s just a smooth 12 minutes. Then we’ll get back to our critique…

To watch the short film CLICK HERE

Just after she leaves to walk home across campus that evening, Breaking News reveals the “Grim Reaper killer” has escaped. That’s trope #1. And just after getting a warning call from her friend the tropes get heavy as the acting falters a step (with the urgency) and she loses cell service in the middle of Pasadena (not likely). That’s rope #2. Then, as she lowers her phone realizing her call is totally lost, she sees the killer in a classic Michael Myers throwback shot. And that’s #3. I’m gonna’ forgive that one, though, because I just might have liked it.

This “meet the killer” shot is nice and the scoring compliments it smoothly. But overall the camerawork feels pretty basic. It’s not at all bad, mind you. But it boasts proficiency and honorarium over innovation–not that it’s necessary to use clever camera angles and wraparound shots to make an effective horror movie. Right after a stare down with the stranger, a streetlight goes out. Should I put “4” on the scoreboard for team Trope? Actually….no.

SupportScythe.com

The opening acting quality was a relief but the Breaking News had me rolling my eyes. Why should we forgive it? Because this short film is only 12 minutes and we only have so long to get to know our characters, introduce the enemy, and get on with conflict, chase, murder or escape. Sometimes you need a quick street sign to say “Killer Here” just to get on with it. But when the streetlight goes out it violates our troped up expectations…for whereas it nods to evil snuffing out the light, we (and she) can still see the killer.

SupportScythe.com

When she gets home and feels safe momentarily, her phone works again…but the power is out! When she thinks someone else is in the house, her phone doesn’t work again. Then the power comes back on…aaaaaaaand we’ve been yo-yoed out of our comfort zone and what falls in our lap but a playful surprise ending? It was a fun startle. We knew something was about to happen when our victim was so relieved (and we also knew this short has already been going for 10 minutes), we just didn’t know exactly how it would happen. I was pleased with how this was handled. And maybe I was briefly antagonized by the frustrating on-and-off phone service and convenient power outage that only seemed to only affect her house (which was explained), but it built to a satisfying end.

SupportScythe.com

Isn’t that what matters–our feeling at the end of the journey? We can quibble all day about pedantic tropes and think to ourselves “oh, that’s four I count now, I see what they’re doing.” But we can’t let ourselves get caught up in that because sometimes when we look back, we appreciate those tropes as well-received nods rather than conveniences played in lieu of creativity. Often the creativity is in how the trope is served.

SupportScythe.com
If you want to be a part of something in the world of horror THIS IS YOUR CHANCE.
Visit their Kickstarter Campaign (up until early May 2016)
As of 4/13/2016 they have raised $11K of their $50K goal!
SupportScythe.com

Our lead actress (Andrea Muller) does the lion’s share of the acting and, fortunately, she gives the most consistent and convincing performance. She did a great job. I must aim my greatest criticism at the supporting actress (Zailee Madrigal), who did well but clearly handled the opening scene better than her subsequent scene (i.e., the panicked phone call). This may sound overly critical, but short films suffer more often than feature length because we’ve had less time to engage our main characters and cultivate an investment in them. Moreover the actors themselves have less time and material to cumulatively build their own investment. However, here I readily identified with our star and never found myself apathetic to her survival.

SupportScythe.com

I often comment that “the fledgling director has much to offer in terms of [BLANK]” or that “I like what they were trying to do, but perhaps with a larger budget…” But here I have little criticism outside of aforementioned minor issues. And can I just say how awesome Andrea Muller was? Nice work. All that remains is for these filmmakers to move forward and make a feature length film or a longer (perhaps 20-30 min) short film out of this. I’d certainly like to see it!

Also, just as a sidenote, anyone who thinks this is a fluff review because I’m flattered to have been asked to review this…you’re quite wrong. Just check out my previous solicited reviews (all hyperlinked above). You’ll find that I’m quite critical (even at times brutally honest) but fair to the merits presented. And these filmmakers and actors have shown the kind of merits I want to see more.

SupportScythe.com

The killer looks pretty hokey at the end, but come on…it’s a 12 minute short. LOL. Give them a budget and let’s see what they can do!

MY CALL: Pumpkinhead is a film brimming with all the typical horror tropes. But what truly sets it apart is their elegant delivery in the form of good storytelling–the kind of good writing and well-staged events we seldom encounter in horror. Oh, and EXCELLENT pacing, special effects and set design!!! MORE MOVIES LIKE Pumpkinhead: They actually made three sequels in 1993, 2006 and 2007. I haven’t seen any of them but they couldn’t possibly measure up to the original.

Makeup special effects wizard turned one-time horror director, Stan Winston (Constantine, Galaxy Quest) demonstrates a greater handle on storytelling and general filmmaking than most would on even their fifth turn helming a horror movie…and he does it just right his first time. He did an admirable job and I’m baffled (and quite disappointed) that he did not continue to direct more horror films. The 90s certainly would have benefited from more of his work.

Pumpkinhead is a film brimming with all the typical horror tropes. But what truly sets it apart is their elegant delivery in the form of good storytelling–the kind of good writing and well-staged events we seldom encounter in horror. The scenes stitch together seamlessly and imbue a finer level of synthesis than horror typically finds.

In the opening scene, Ed’s father protects his family from a desperate man pursued by a most pernicious demonic entity during a rather dire flashback that links our main character’s childhood to the monster.

Now grown and a father of a young boy himself, Ed (Lance Henriksen; Harbinger Down, Aliens, AVP, The Pit and the Pendulum) finds his son in his last living moments after some intoxicated twenty-something runs him over with his dirt bike.

Much to my relief, what we don’t find are a bunch of young adults who keep talking about beer and smoking weed and getting drunk and getting laid. Their upcoming plight is not prefaced by drunk lap dances or cabin stripteases (e.g., Julianna Guill in Friday the 13th). What we witness instead is what we might expect of a young group (incl. Kerry Remsen; A Nightmare on Elm Street 2, Ghoulies 2) on vacation–mild drinking and driving but no one seems sloshed, typical fun behavior that’s just a little bit dangerous, and a somewhat understandable (though not at all forgivable) reaction to a big screw up while one of them was on probation. Even more rare for a horror film is that although we have a clear singular protagonist in our recently bereft father, the soon-to-be victims are effectively humanized when we witness that only the proby screw-up acts immorally after the accident. Like I said, the tropes are all here, but they don’t feel like the same old over-played tropes when handled so well.

Ed seeks out a witch–a piece of local hillbilly folklore–to exact his revenge. What’s funny is that Ed is the local middle-of-nowhere store owner in the mountain woods. Normally HE would be the harbinger warning the younger city folks of bad things to come. Instead it’s Ed’s fellow poverty-stricken neighbor (with five kids wearing filthy rags singing rhymes about the monstrous Pumpkinhead) who warns Ed away from pursuing the witch. How’s that for a badass turn of troped-up events?

The witch is great! The translucently thin-haired hag lives in a fetid cabin in the swamp. The set designers really outdid themselves. She’s creepy and says all the typical lines like “you’ll know when you find it.” But she’s just soooo creepy that it doesn’t feel corny. Then the pumpkin-patched grave site, the exhumation, the alien-looking transformation…this film truly has a lot to offer.

The pacing is excellent. We consistently build towards the reason to seek the witch (i.e., the tragedy), the impetus of vengeance, the necessary ritual, some blood and black magic, and the mysterious discovery that Ed is now somehow “connected” to the Pumpkinhead demon.

Once it comes time to start picking off twenty-somethings the movie becomes a bit more typical, but remaining on the higher quality end in terms of execution. Get it…execution? See what I did there? But for real, it’s pretty fun. There are various “horror drags” and a grabs-from-above that reminds me of Alien 3…or, I suppose, Alien 3 (1992) reminds me of this.

Which brings us to the monster, which is undoubtedly reminiscent of the Alien Xenomorph, but with its own style. It’s slimy skin, protruding bones, gaunt body, huge head and long tail make this fiend super-creepy and I love the way it lumbers around and makes interesting facial expressions! And while its appearance reminds me of Aliens, its behavior is more like Jason Voorhees as it lurks around the isolated cabin in the woods (yes, all the tropes are here), occasionally dropping a dead body in front of a future victim (for no other reason than a good jump scare for us viewers).

I’m also quite fond of the scene when it “stabs” a guy with a rifle. Cheeky!

This film offers much worthy screen time to its well-crafted monster and the action is pretty cool, especially at the end. The conflict is resolved properly with an ending that “matters” (unlike a lot of horror that just sort of “ends”). What’s more is that the 80s loved horror endings that all but flagged down the obvious sequel. That happens here, but in a most tasteful, thoughtful, and appreciative manner that will put a smile of understanding satisfaction on your face the moment you catch it.

I don’t simply recommend this be watched, but that you just go buy it. This movie contributed to making the 80s a special era for horror.

One of many posters that do NOT hint at the true nature of this film.
Speaking of which, there are some SPOILERS in this review.
You will be warned of SPOILERS so you may avoid them.

MY CALL: This evil monstrous Irish fairy movie came out of nowhere and really impressed me. It’s not especially original, but it boasts fine execution, quality squishy slimy special effects and smart cautious protagonists…just watch it. MOVIES LIKE The Hallow: Unfortunately it would spoil this movie to explain what movies are similar. As such, similar movies are referenced in the SPOILER BOX. But some other Irish horror movies include Leprechaun Origins (2014; horrible), Leprechaun 2 (1994; decent), Leprechaun (1993; campy but excellent), Grabbers (2012; AMAZING) and Cherry Tree (2015; terrible reviews but great effects).

I would like to strongly recommend that you read no reviews on this movie before watching it. I actually watched this blind (not even seeing the trailer) and I was quite pleasantly surprised. However, if you haven’t seen it and choose to read this review anyway, I’ll warn you by saying SPOILERS when you shouldn’t read any further. It’s only one paragraph and it will be in a blue-shaded block quote.

Opening with a serene walk in the mossy woods we meet the local “tree doctor” Adam (Joseph Mawle; Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter), who collects some strange samples of what is perhaps a slime mold of sorts on a dead animal–if you’re not a biologist, just know that’s really weird. Not halfway through examining the sample in his office slash makeshift laboratory his wife Clare (Bojana Novakovic; Devil, Drag Me to Hell) finds more of the goo leaking from their ceiling in their infant’s nursery. Yuck.

From the start I really like this atmosphere painted around our protagonists. It’s dark but naturally serene and isolated with good justification. Adam and Clare strike us as inquisitive and cautious. But, as the horror genre would have it, no one is ever really cautious enough when it comes to dealing with the supernatural. Just perhaps enough to make it interesting as the story persists and we wonder whose suspicions are more accurate: Adam’s, Clare’s or the townsfolk’s.

The superstitious locals don’t like Adam’s work-related investigations in the woods. They would warn that those woods belong the “the hallow”–the baby-stealing fairies and banshees and fey creatures of myth and folklore. The local police (Michael Smiley; The World’s End, The ABCs of Death) offer soft warnings of these legends, but their neighbor (Michael McElhatton; Game of Thrones) who lost his daughter to the woods is more heavy-handed, offering an ancient book of fairy lore depicting changelings.

I applaud director Corin Hardy’s first feature length film endeavor. It takes us from mysterious, to superstitious, to “pack your bags and let’s get outta’ here” without a slow moment. We find a gradual introduction to the fey creatures accompanied by sounds of stirring about, followed by stronger evidence like monstrous scratch marks and ultimately…attack by monsters in plain sight. The creature effects are pretty good and very abundant–we see a lot of them. These fairy plant zombies look and move in creeptastic ways nuanced with twitches.

Skip the next paragraph to avoid spoilers.

MINOR SPOILERS START HERE… This film is exactly what Leprechaun Origins (2014) really wanted to be, but sorely failed to achieve. These neat fairy folk creatures assume a more twisted monstrous form than the attractive pixies of storybooks. Repelled and harmed by iron and light, they are the stuff of evil. They infect Adam’s home with some sort of corrupting, infectious, parasitic fairy slime that acts like a virus on living tissue and rapidly warps and rots wood. I was expecting the slime to take us in the transformation direction of such films as Blood Glacier (2013), Harbinger Down (2015) or The Thing (2011). It sort of does, and it certainly takes us on a weird journey. Just not the path I expected. It reminded me of Leviathan (1989) and The Cave (2005), and even had a Prometheus (2012) meets The Fly (1986) vibe about it. SPOILERS END HERE…

This film came out of nowhere and really impressed me. It’s not especially original, but it boasts fine execution, quality squishy slimy creature effects, smart cautious protagonists…just watch it.

MY CALL: A well-respected director brought together a sizable ensemble cast rich with horror experience; this should have worked but it crashed and burned. It seemed to have all of the building blocks of success, but once you hit “play” you’ll find no foundation was built. I wanted so badly to like this. My recommendation is that you don’t even watch this out of respect for Shimizu or any of the cast you may like. It’s not worth it. MOVIES LIKE Flight 7500: Altitude (2010) and The Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983) both involve horror at high altitudes…and even Altitude (2010) was better than this. To see something to redeem director Takashi Shimizu go for The Grudge (2004, remake or original or sequels) or any other Ju-On movies.

Note that both of these posters say 2012.
The movie is listed as 2014 on IMDB.
But we all waited until 2016 to be able to see it!
This is never a good sign.

Flight 7500 departs Los Angeles for Tokyo and as the overnight flight makes its course the passengers encounter some sort of evil supernatural force. Given the director, my guess would be a “Grudge ghost.”

Definitely an abnormal amount on in-flight Grudge mist.

Our lineup of victims are moderately humanized and somewhat likable, but perhaps mostly because we recognize them from other HBO and horror favorites. There is a couple (Ryan Kwanten; True Blood, Dead Silence, and Amy Smart; Mirrors, Seventh Moon, Strangeland) embarking on a non-refundable couples trip with their friends who do not yet know they’re getting a divorce, a mellow young man (Jerry Ferrara; Entourage, Battleship) and his recently wed bridezilla (Scout Taylor-Compton; Halloween, Wicked Little Things, April Fool’s Day) who is not fond of their goth and fatalistic row-mate (Nicky Whelan; Halloween II), and a flirty scheister seated beside an unimpressed young lady (Christian Serratos; The Walking Dead). Meanwhile the flight attendants (Leslie Bibb; Trick ‘r Treat, The Skulls, and Jamie Chung; Sorority Row, The Man with the Iron Fists) gossip about the passengers and their love lives, one of which is involved with the adulterous pilot (Johnathon Schaech; Quarantine, Prom Night). Essentially, everyone is either lying about something, angry about something, or in denial suppressing something.

Among the passengers is a man with an old wooden box of which he’s suspiciously protective. I’d be a bit clingy to my carry-on, too, if it had an evil Japanese spirit in it (or so I’m assuming that of the contents). Shortly after takeoff he dies from a most violently protracted seizure. By the end of the movie you will find no link to this completely unnatural seizure and any of the other events that shall transpire.

Sketchiest looking guy on the plane…

Inexplicably dramatic death…

With a dead body on board people are harrowed, some even curious, but most reflecting on their lives having recently faced death. It disappoints me to say that as some strange things start happening on the plane, I found more satisfaction from the development of the characters’ relationships and self-discovery (not that there’s anything special going on) than I did the horror story itself. The formula is simple: 1) someone thinks she sees something, and 2) two passengers find connections when first they saw adversity. The dead body creepily moves, and a troubled couple reflect on their poor decisions. There’s a lot of this interplay between interpersonal moments and failed attempts at scary happenings. Speaking of failed attempts, a woman encounters a ghost emerging from the mist of the tiny airplane bathroom floor while taking a pregnancy test. Needlessly weird!

I really love Amy Smart and Ryan Kwanten.
It’s such a shame they’re in this movie…for them. SMH
Here they find some clues that really end up not mattering at all.

As the story stumbles into some state of development we learn of evil spirits of Japanese mythology that “won’t let go” and thus do not move on to the afterlife. Apparently that’s what’s happening here. There’s also a weird twitchy “death doll” that doesn’t seem to fit into all this at all. And don’t worry, by the end of the movie you’ll see the doll meant very little.

The passengers were just asking for trouble.
Dude steals the dead guy’s watch after his suspiciously violent death.

Then they open the creepy box after picking the lock! It was LOCKED!
Why not just read from a book inked in blood and bound in human flesh!?!?!?!

The special effects are minimal, not in a “minimalist” way but in a really disappointing way. Some CGI mist, spectral reflections, and reaching hands. That’s it. Our victims deaths go something like this…they hear something, a door or lid or suitcase opens, an out-of-focus figure or a hand emerges, the victim screams or whimpers, aaaaand cut scene.

She investigates when she hears something…

Something is opened (a suitcase this time)…

Once again – She investigates when she hears something…

Ovrehead storage opens on its own…

Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

We see no monster or ghost nor do we see an attack or a gruesome outcome–not even a horrific body. Of whatever budget there was to hire the cast and create a huge variety of poster art (of the course of 3-4 years of release delays), it seems that hardly a dollar was spared to bring our monster to the screen. As such, I now see why it took years to finally get this movie released.

Here the cast looks as bewildered as I was while watching this.
Why did that guy with the box die?
Why was the box locked?
Why did the doll matter?
Why did the box matter?
Where’s the damned ghost?
Why did we have to wait 4 years to see this???

I don’t know what went wrong. The well-respected director Takashi Shimizu (The Grudge 1-2, Ju-On 1-2) and writer Craig Rosenberg (The Uninvited, The Quiet Ones) brought together a sizable ensemble cast rich with horror experience. This should have worked. It seemed to have all of the building blocks of success, but once you hit “play” you’ll find no foundation was built.

Evidently all the posters were meant to distract us.

Very sad. I wanted so badly to like this–especially since I’ve been waiting for YEARS to see ths. My recommendation is that you don’t even watch this out of respect for Shimizu or any of the cast you may like. It’s not worth it. Not even a little.

Here’s one for a 2013 release. 

MY CALL: This film is far better than horror fans today realize and sadly I fear it is overlooked when people delve into 80s and 90s horror to round their horror film educations. If you’re in the market for a good “witch movie” or simply a great horror movie choice in general, this is it. MORE MOVIES LIKE Warlock: Other favorable witch movies include the contemporary The Craft (1996) and The Witches (1990), the campy The Kiss (1988) and Spellbinder (1988), the dark noir Lord of Illusions (1995), and then The Witch (2016), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), The Blair Witch Project (1999). And check out Pumpkinhead (1988) for a great depiction of a witch.

I had long been yearning for a good witch movie after seeing The Witch (2016), which was successful as a movie “involving” a witch but didn’t at all feel “about” the witch. So it had me yearning for a good movie that “focused on” the witch. And this movie is an excellent choice for that!

After a lengthy atmospheric introduction to 17th century Massachusetts, we meet our Warlock (Julian sands; Tale of a Vampire, Arachnophobia). For his actions in league with the Devil he is sentenced to death or, put much more specifically by his accusers: “You are to be hanged, and then burned over a basket of living cats.”

A hellstorm arrives which by the Devil transports the Warlock through time, three centuries into the future to 1988 so that he may collect and assemble the three parts of the greatest spellbook the Grand Grimoire, the dark Bible. He is followed through time by the witch hunter Redferne (Richard E. Grant; Bram Stoker’s Dracula) to the home of Kassandra (Lori Singer) and her roommate.

Much as with the pansexual nature of vampirism, our Warlock homoerotically kisses and bites the tongue from a gay man and spits it into a frying pan after cutting off his finger and procuring his fanciful ring. Not only a tongue and a finger, but he goes on to remove the eyes of a spiritualist (Mary Woronov; House of the Devil, Chopping Mall) which look (despite being disembodied) where he must go.

But his spellcraft advances with the story and he eventually casts a spell cursing Kassandra to age 20 years every day–a fate worse than death to a once stunning twenty-something.

Our witch hunter Redferne is similar to a lower budget, smaller muscled, less suave The Last Witch Hunter (2016). He uses arcane tricks to track the Warlock–like his witch compass using the Warlock’s blood, nails in foot prints to cripple him, and recognizing bewitching signs such as cream that sours overnight and bread that doesn’t rise to detect his presence. As Redferne traveled through time to “the present” in tow of the Warlock, their dynamic is much as The Terminator‘s (1984) Kyle Reese and Sarah Conner to the T-800, with an ordinary but brave man aiding a diner waitress trying to prevent the end of humanity from a supernatural opponent against overwhelming odds.

Director Steve Miner (Lake Placid, Halloween H20, House, Friday the 13th Parts 2-3) already had some horror experience, but I think he outdid himself here. I was pleased with the story from start to finish (a stunning rarity in horror especially back then), the acting was solid (but not wowing), the nuance and discovery of mysticism was developed well, and the special effects were really quite good for their time with the ectoplasmic magical energy not at all looking hokey (although the flying was a bit silly by today’s standards) and a nice gory finale! I was especially pleased with the ending, had a dash of acceptable warm-fuzzy feelings and a bit of clever tongue-in-cheek humor.

This film is far better than horror fans today realize and sadly I fear it is overlooked when people delve into 80s and 90s horror to round their film educations. Let’s correct this. Buy it, see it, and celebrate the Warlock!

MY CALL: If you want grim reapers, satanic cults, unlucky hitchhikers, devil worship, the worst leg injury ABSOLUTELY EVER, amateur surgery, home invasions, demons and trips to Hell and back, then this is for you. Not all the short films hit home runs but the few great moments make it worth the gory price of admission. Overall, this is a pretty good anthology. MOVIES LIKE Southbound: This movie most closely matches the stylings of Stephen King’s Cat’s Eye (1985), A Christmas Horror Story (2015) and Trick ‘r Treat (2007).

OTHER HORROR ANTHOLOGIES:  Dead of Night (1945), Black Sabbath (1963), Tales from the Crypt (1972), The Vault of Horror (1973), The Uncanny (1977), Creepshow (1982), Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983), Stephen King’s Cat’s Eye (1985), Deadtime Stories (1986), Creepshow 2 (1987), Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990), Necronomicon: Book of the Dead (1993), Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), Campfire Tales (1997), 3 Extremes (2004), Creepshow 3 (2006), Trick ‘r Treat (2007), Chillerama (2011), Little Deaths (2011), V/H/S (2012), The Theater Bizarre (2012), The ABCs of Death (2013), V/H/S 2 (2013), The Profane Exhibit (2013), The ABCs of Death 2 (2014), V/H/S Viral (2014) and A Christmas Horror Story (2015).

If you’ve followed my reviews for a while now then you ought to know that I love horror anthologies. Typically either all of the short stories are directed by one man and written by another (e.g., Creepshow), or each short story has a different writer and director (e.g., V/H/S). However, this anthology features five stories with six writers and six directors: the trio of Radio Silence (V/H/S segment 10/31/98), Patrick Horvath (The Pact II), David Bruckner (V/H/S segment Amateur Night) and Roxanne Benjamin (V/H/S, V/H/S 2, V/H/S Viral).

Unlike many anthologies which feature a story teller or wraparound story (e.g., Creepshow, Tales from the Darkside: The Movie), this takes the approach of linked stories in which one component of the previous story links us to the next (much as in Trick ‘r Treat)–although it does loop us back to the opening story.

The Way In. The opening finds two men driving southbound on a desert highway. Covered in blood, trapped in some sort of timeloop and followed by several black flying angels of death, they have clearly done something very bad. This was a really sleek and cool short. The special effects and CGI are impressive. At one point a very cool looking grim reaper reaches down a guy’s throat tearing his mouth and jaw into a macabre gaping mess.

Siren. The next morning three girls in the same area hit the road only to get the cliché flat tire. But fret not–they’re offered a ride, dinner and a place to say with a weird couple having a dinner party that evening with their equally weird neighbors and their even weirder twin sons. When they say grace let’s just say it sounded like they weren’t thanking our Heavenly Father. Outside of some vomit and a lot of tongue-in-cheek social awkwardness, this short was relatively uneventful. Somewhat interesting, but somewhat boring as well.

The Accident. One of the girls (Fabianne Therese; Starry Eyes) from Siren escapes the satanic ritual and is brutally, gorily and hilariously hit by a car, the driver of which now endures a most stressful and unhelpful 911 call trying to help her–it’s both soul-crushing and hilarious. Her legs are bent all over the place, she’s convulsing…I was shocked the guy didn’t panic and run. He takes her to what seems to be a recently abandoned town and into an empty hospital where he is advised by some surgeon (over the phone who knows far too much about the situation) to set her broken leg, intubate her, make an incision under her ribs to insert his hand inside her thorax to compress her lung! This is BRUTAL. First off, I never thought a broken leg scene in a horror movie could make me reel, wince, yell at the screen and uncomfortably laugh more than Insidious Chapter 3 (2015). But this movie wins–again folks, I was yelling at the screen LOL. It’s so gleefully macabre and awful and wonderful as we hear the bloody tissue twist and slice and see the victim’s face as she, fully awake, endures all this. HOLY SHIT this short was amazing!

Compounding all this is that after he fails to save her, he is somehow trapped in the abandoned hospital! This short alone is worth watching this movie.

Jailbreak, the fourth short, strangely deviates from the more distinctly linked second and third as a man battles demons in a gory bar fight in search of his sister, who evidently has been in Hell for a long time. The special effects range from marginal to decent with some gooey splatters, but the story was completely uncompelling. I felt no satisfaction by the ending other than the relief that we were moving on to the work of other filmmakers.

The Way Out feels a lot like the home invasion from You’re Next (2013). It’s a little scary, moderately creepy, and packs some good shock value as a tough girl stands up to defend her family from a group of murderous masked home intruders. But what makes this final short interesting is that it links back all the way to the The Way In, which felt like the beginning of our timeline as we watched. Some of the “gates to Hell” CGI were a little cheesy, but they depicted some cool infernal imagery nonetheless.

I thought The Way In was nifty, especially how it linked to The Way Out, and that The Accident alone was worth the price of admission. Sure, not all the shorts were awesome. But therein lies the luxury of anthology films; it takes about ten minutes to figure out you don’t like a particular short, and by then you only have about ten more minutes until it’s over and you’re on to the next. And because each short has a different writer and director, you can rest assured that it will have a completely different style.

This was entertaining and at times pretty clever. The big take home message for me to sell you on this though would have to be the injuries of the girl in The Accident. WORST BROKEN LEG EVERRRRRR! Mercy! Overall, this is a pretty good anthology.

MY CALL: A low-budget Irish witch movie boasting some cool ideas and neat low-budget practical effects, but cursed with major plot holes and terrible, terrible writing (and direction, I suppose). Definitely not unwatchable, I’d consider it a laughably bad movie with a few moderately redeeming features. MOVIES LIKE Cherry Tree:  Some other Irish horror movies include Rawhead Rex (1986; pretty bad but watchable), Leprechaun Origins (2014; horrible), Leprechaun 2 (1994; decent), Leprechaun (1993; campy but excellent), Grabbers (2012; AMAZING) and The Hallow (2015; EXCELLENT). Also check out Holidays (2016), which features an Irish short story (Mother’s Day).

MORE WITCH MOVIES:  For better witch movies I’ll suggest Warlock (1989), The Witch (2016), The Witches of Eastwick (1987), The Craft (1996) and The Witches (1990), the campy The Kiss (1988) and Spellbinder (1988) are entertaining but bad, the dark noir Lord of Illusions (1995), and Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000) and The Blair Witch Project (1999) were cool considering you never see a witch. And check out Pumpkinhead (1988) for a great depiction of a witch, though it’s not a “witch movie.” Definitely skip Witchcraft (1989). Lords of Salem (2013) and Mother of Tears (2007) deal with witches in different ways and Snow White and the Huntsman (2012), The Last Witch Hunter (2015) and Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013) offer action and effects-driven fun. Beautiful Creatures (2013) and The Woods (2006) may appeal to younger audiences. Superstition (1982) and The Haunting of Morella (1990) are allegedly witch movies but don’t feel like it. Deadtime Stories (1986) features a pretty cool witch short story.

I had been looking forward to this Irish witch movie despite the scathing reviews (discussed here). That said, I’m glad I watched it…but it wasn’t exactly good.

Witches had occupied the town of Orchard since the Middle Ages, their coven constantly seeking a woman to bear the son of Satan so that they may gain untold power. After dispatching of the coven, folk tales suggested that the spirits of these witches were linked to an old cherry tree, and through that tree they could return.

A virgin high school field hockey player at odds with her teammates, Faith (Naomi Battrick) would do anything to save terminally ill father (Sam Hazeldine; The Raven, The Wolfman). And she is approached by her new field hockey coach to do just that.  Sissy (Anna Walton; Hellboy II: The Golden Army) readily explains that she has access to magical powers that could cure Faith’s father and demonstrates such proficiency by killing and resurrecting a chicken with what I can only describe as “centipede magic.”

Building up to this, whatever the filmmakers were trying to do in order to drum up dramatic tension–school bullies, her father’s health, ill-temperament–it isn’t working for me. And when Coach Sissy takes Faith to her home, a manor of wealth far beyond a high school hockey coach, it’s creepy and viney and has stairs descending to untold depths below ground level leading to her ritual basement where she asks “do you believe in magic?”  She goes so far as to explain that their “Lord” would reward them with dark power for their devotion.  Why Faith didn’t just freak out at this lunacy or call the police is quite the curiosity.  I don’t care how sick her father is.  Who would believe this crap in the era of the internet and cable TV!?!?!

The price for magically saving her father: a child. Let’s just say the sex scene that consummates this prerequisite is interesting, demonic and, of course, includes a centipede or two.

The direction is uninspired, featuring amateur shots with occasionally nice cinematography that was not at all complimented by the set designers’ attempts to create a witches den. It strikes me more like a well-designed basement-turned-house of horrors on Halloween.

The centipedes, of course, offer some level of creep factor but otherwise really don’t “fit” in the scenes and their sound effects are exaggerated over-the-top. Not that I don’t like seeing centipedes on the walls, biting people with unrealistic power, and crawling into wounds and bodily orifices and under flesh. It’s just more “neat” than “good.”  Why are these centipedes even here!?!?!  There is also a lot of cherry imagery (which has me pondering connections to The Witches of Eastwick), some kind of twig and slimy web cocoon (that makes no sense and is no more explained than the centipedes), and a gross birth scene.

So is it just me?  Or does her head look strikingly similar to the centipede’s hind legs clutching the cherry on the poster art?

This film is shameless with its tropes, depicting a shower scene of high school girls complete with nudity, along with subsequent nudity during a ritual, a demonic sex scene, and yet another breasty ritual scene. That said, Anna Walton–who accounts for two of those scenes–is a visual delight.

Director David Keating (Wake Wood) has produced a melee of ideas that find no sense of synthesis.  It strikes me that a very serious effort was made to make a good film, but the story falls apart at almost every turn with plot holes.  Faith disappeared from school for three weeks, her friend who saw her weeks later wasn’t very disturbed by Faith’s full-term pregnancy, why the Hell didn’t the witches have her locked up in the final hour before the birth of the Devil’s son (Faith just sneaks out the front door), and why would Sissy explain the details of her ritual so that Faith would know exactly how to stop it!  Just painfully bad writing.

And why would they lock her in a car, light it on fire, then leave???  That’s like when Dr. Evil closes the doors on Austin Powers tied up over the shark tank!

Not that this film is by any means unwatchable–it’s entertaining enough–but if there was a reason for me to actually recommend this film it would probably be for some of the practical effects in the final act or, simply put, Anna Walton’s boobs. We find an interesting transformation scene complete with peeling off bloody chunks of flesh revealing a new creepy form beneath that pretty cool but doesn’t show us nearly as much as we’d like to see.  However some effects fall on the laughably cheap side of things.

Overall, I’d say these filmmakers failed at making a good witch movie. But they succeeded at showing me a lot of cool ideas, stretching a budget efficiently and showing a few decent effects along the way, although paved with horrible storytelling and idiotic oversights by our villains.

I recently reviewed the short film Scythe (2016), whose Kickstarter Campaign has just one day left and $7000 to go. If this is going to happen people NEED TO PLEDGE NOW!

This promising slasher short film largely offers aspects of horror tropes that I enjoy. If you feel the same, consider contributing to their Kickstarter Campaign.  They’re almost there!!!!!  If you believe in this film, even a little, put what you can–even just $5–towards making this happen and share in your social media networks.

MORE INDIE MOVIES LIKE Scythe: Here at MFF we occasionally do horror short film and pre-release indie film reviews on request. Among recent solicited promotions are Order of the Ram (2013; short film), Love in the Time of Monsters (2014; feature length), Smothered (2014; feature length), In the Dark (2015; feature length), Trailer Talk: The Void, TRAILER TALK: Blood Money, Short Film Buzz: Burn (2016; press release), Brother (2016; short film), and the indie techno-horror Other Halves (2016; feature length).

Description: Directed/written by Jim Rothman and starring Jose C. Alvarez, Zailee Madrigal and Andrea Muller, Scythe is a psychological Slasher/Thriller in the same vein of Halloween (1978), Saw (2004) and the work of Hitchcock.

Facebook page
Movie Website
IMDB
Twitter: @ScytheJim

Right about now would be a good time for you to stop reading and give this short film a watch. No worries, it’s just a smooth 12 minutes. Then we’ll get back to our critique…

To watch the short film CLICK HERE

Now that you’ve seen it, and hopefully enjoyed it, it’s time to decide to pledge.

SupportScythe.com

If you want to be a part of something in the world of horror THIS IS YOUR CHANCE.
Visit their Kickstarter Campaign (up until early May 2016)
As of 5/3/2016 at 10:30pm EDT they have raised about $43K of their $50K goal!
SupportScythe.com

The perks for supporting this campaign are pretty generous.

MY CALL: This horror anthology features monstrous pregnancy, creepy kids, zombie Jesus, genital mutilation, pagan cults, teen bullying gone wrong, the evil Easter bunny and deadly Dating site meet-ups among other maladies. Definitely one of the better horror anthologies of the last several years. MOVIES LIKE Holidays: Other holiday themed horror anthologies include Trick ‘r Treat (2007), Tales of Halloween (2015) and A Christmas Horror Story (2015).

OTHER HORROR ANTHOLOGIES:  Dead of Night (1945), Black Sabbath (1963), Tales from the Crypt (1972), The Vault of Horror (1973), The Uncanny (1977), Creepshow (1982), Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983), Stephen King’s Cat’s Eye (1985), Deadtime Stories (1986), Creepshow 2 (1987), Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990), Necronomicon: Book of the Dead (1993), Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), Campfire Tales (1997), 3 Extremes (2004), Creepshow 3 (2006), Trick ‘r Treat (2007), Chillerama (2011), Little Deaths (2011), V/H/S (2012), The Theater Bizarre (2012), The ABCs of Death (2013), V/H/S 2 (2013), The Profane Exhibit (2013), The ABCs of Death 2 (2014), V/H/S Viral (2014), Southbound (2015), Tales of Halloween (2015) and A Christmas Horror Story (2015).

If you’ve followed my reviews for a while now then you ought to know that I love horror anthologies. In some anthologies all of the short stories are directed by one man and written by another (e.g., Creepshow), but in this case each short story has a different writer and director (like V/H/S).

Unlike many anthologies which feature a story teller or wraparound story (e.g., Creepshow, Tales from the Darkside: The Movie) or taking the approach of linked stories in which one component of the previous story links us to the next (e.g., Southbound, Trick ‘r Treat), this anthology simply delivers a series of horror shorts related only in that they are all holiday-themed. The shorts are presented in their calendar order and all have delightfully twisted endings. This anthology really was a pleasant surprise.

Valentine’s Day introduces us to a quiet high school girl (Madeleine Coghlan) bullied by her diving team and teased about her crush on their coach. The tone is uneasingly awkward and when the young girls bully it makes us uncomfortable (in a good, effective way). Written and directed by Dennis Widmyer and Kevin Kolsch (they did Starry Eyes), this breezy short takes a hard turn when the victim gets her brutal revenge. You’ll smile.

St. Patrick’s Day is tremendously effective in its awkwardness as well, and follows suit in the creepy kids department. An Irish primary school teacher (Ruth Bradley; Grabbers) is haunted by a strange student and a stranger subsequent pregnancy. Only, pregnant with what…and how…and why? It’s funny in the darkest way. The birth scene is interesting followed by a most dream-like celebration. Written and directed by Gary Shore (Dracula Untold).

Easter is just plain wrong in ways that made my darkest side squeal with glee. A young girl encounters a most sacrilegious zombie Jesus Easter Bunny that births baby chicks from its stigmata. Wow. Written and directed by Nicholas McCarthy (The Pact), this is something different.

Mother’s Day. All sorts of weirdness ensues after a young woman who can’t stop getting pregnant joins a fertility ritual for women who can’t. I can’t say I understand the ending and this was just plain odd. Written and directed by Sarah Adina Smith, this short was among my least favorites.

Father’s Day was easily the most compelling and tense of the shorts in this anthology. A young woman (Jocelin Donahue; The House of the Devil, Insidious Chapter 2) receives a tape recorder with a message from her father–who she thought had died 20+ years ago–with instructions on how to find him. Written and directed by Anthony Scott Burns, I desperately want this guy to do more horror!!! Maybe even stretch this into an entire movie.

Halloween disappointingly had nothing to do with Halloween at all. It’s the only short in this anthology that fails to follow the theme of its holiday and, on top of that, it’s a crass shock film that fails at being shocking. It wasn’t well acted or well written and I must say I was surprised to see this garbage was written and directed by Kevin Smith (Tusk).

Christmas stars Seth Green (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) as a man tasked with getting the latest hot tech gift for his son. But how far will he go to get it, and what will he learn about himself when he does? Written and directed by Scott Stewart (Dark Skies, Priest, Legion), this one is cheeky.

New Year’s Eve was definitely the most fun. A murderous man meets a quirky woman on a Dating site for a NYE date that does not go as he planned. Directed by Adam Egypt Mortimer (Some Kind of Hate), this short gives me hope that he will make more such movies.

In general I was very pleased with this horror anthology. I liked it even more than Southbound (2015)! Probably the only disappointing shorts for me were Mother’s Day and Kevin Smith’s Halloween, which was the only short that didn’t connect well with its assigned holiday and it had probably the worst acting, writing and–sorry Kevin–directing. It just felt like amateur hour despite some mildly campy humor…and it didn’t match its surroundings well. For me the best short was Father’s Day–just harrowing. But basically all of these shorts (except, Mother’s Day and Halloween) were very satisfying. Few anthologies are of such quality.

MY CALL: Part 1 stunned us with brutality and desperation. But part 2 was made to push the gory and psychological aspects into disturbing territory. I loved this film and clearly so did Rob Zombie, who claimed that House of 1000 Corpses (2003) was in honor of the horror era of the past–but really, and not to his discredit, it seemed that he was re-imagining this.. MORE MOVIES LIKE The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2: Well obviously you should have already seen The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974). From there I’d suggest seeing The Funhouse (1981) and Motel Hell (1980) before moving on to the much better TCM 2. After that, you could skip to the rebooted series (2003, 2006), perhaps excluding Texas Chainsaw 3-D (2013)– I wasn’t at all thrilled with it as a Texas Chainsaw movie, but I generally LOVED it as a bad horror flick!

After a narrated introduction linking our story to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) and explaining the aftermath of Sally’s escape, we meet a pair of yuppie shithead sociopaths shooting road signs and playing chicken with locals on rural roads while donning preppie attire like pastel sweaters and frat house blazers. They obnoxiously cackle and, unlike our gang of victims in part 1, we are all probably looking forward to their well-deserved gruesome deaths.

Not only do they get what they deserve, but it happens in a manner far more gory and campy than anything in part 1. Leatherface (now played by Bill Johnson; The Caretakers) has a slapstick vibe about him as he chainsaws a moving vehicle while wearing an entire dead shambling corpse as a disguise. Taking a hard turn from the hopelessly desperate and dire original, this new campy tone emanates throughout this sequel and takes more after Tobe Hooper’s own The Funhouse (1981).

Compounding this silliness is that we find Drayton Sawyer (Jim Siedow; The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) taking very much after the campy Motel Hell‘s (1980) Farmer Vincent, winning a chili cook-off and being praised for his tasty meat stew. Like The Funhouse (1981), Motel Hell borrowed heavily from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974), embracing cannibalism, a macabre pig head mask, and a chainsaw attack. Now it seems that TCM 2 is borrowing back.

Radio DJ Stretch (Caroline Williams; Leprechaun 3, Halloween II, Hatchet 3, Contracted) is the best part of this movie. She and her producer (Lou Perryman; The Cellar, Poltergeist) heard the aforementioned yuppie victims (one with the top of his head awesomely sawed off) being killed when they obnoxiously called in to her radio show. So Stretch rushes to help Lefty (Dennis Hopper; Waterworld, Land of the Dead) in his investigation of his nephews’ death, which he believes to have been at the hands of the purported chainsaw-wielding maniacs 12 years prior.

Of course, the Sawyer family is back and Chop-Top (Bill Moseley; House of 1000 Corpses, Texas Chainsaw 3D, House) is batshit crazy and disturbingly awkward. He is so sick and twisted that I felt scared for Stretch when she faced him–and I, a well-seasoned and desensitized horror buff, never feel scared for anyone except for the Poltergeist (1982; also Tobe Hooper, by the way) family! The violence goes off the deep end when he hammers the shit out of her friend over and over again…with an actual hammer…cackling all the while. Whereas Leatherface is as sexually repressed and perverse as can be, essentially chainsaw dry-humping while licking his malformed lips.

It’s pretty sick and it really paved the way for subsequent sicko releases like House of 1000 Corpses (2003). All the while, these encounters show us how strong Caroline Williams plays our final girl Stretch. She’s terrified and manic, but she fights back and defends herself however she can, even by psychologically manipulating the man-child Leatherface.

As we approach the third act Stretch falls into the deep underground lair of the Sawyers, Leatherface skins sopping corpses and plays with peeled bloody faces, and Lefty goes mad with vengeance intent on caving in the Sawyers’ abandoned mines. The festival macabre continues with puppeteered corpses and insane rants. Offal pits and halls of rotting corpses abound in this craziness that you will subsequently find duplicated in House of 1000 Corpses (2003; in honorarium) and Stretch runs for her life through the maze of dead bodies in her short shorts screaming.

Writer/director Tobe Hooper (Lifeforce, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Poltergeist, The Funhouse) returns and shifts gears from brutal and dire to slapstick gory batshit crazy. In an effort to one-up his own work, the Sawyer home and dinner scene are elevated to an “11” in terms of lunacy, the chase scenes are longer and the gruesome actions find far more blood, severed limbs, rended flesh and rubber guts than its predecessor.

Grandpa is evil senescence at its best as he hammers Stretch, Leatherface is now borderline invincible and able to fight Lefty with a chainsaw through his stomach with his guts hanging out, scrappy Stretch gets into a fight with Chop-Top that endures so long that it set the standard for Keith David and Roddy Piper in They Live (1988)…it seems EVERYTHING has been turned up to an “11” in this crazy sequel.

Just when you thought it couldn’t get more over the top Stretch ends up at Grandma Sawyer’s shrine and does the same crazy chainsaw kata as Leatherface in the end of part 1. That’s what I love about this movie. You keep thinking it can’t get any crazier, but it somehow does. It’s like Jurassic Park (1993), “crazy” finds a way.

Part 1 stunned us with brutality and desperation. But part 2 was made to push the gory and psychological aspects into disturbing territory. I loved this film and clearly so did Rob Zombie, who claimed that House of 1000 Corpses (2003) was in honor of the horror era of the past–but really, and not to his discredit, it seemed that he was re-imagining this.

MY CALL: Excellent acting, writing and scenery breathe life into this intensely paranoid indie horror in which matrimonial trust is tested. A must see! MOVIES LIKE Honeymoon: Bite (2015), Spring (2015) and The Hallow (2015) all test relationships with monstrosities. There are other much more similar movies, but to merely identify them would spoil this movie. Although the tagline, IMDB summary and posters are a bit obvious and spoilerish already.

First time writer/director Leigh Janiak does an excellent job introducing us to our recently married main characters Bea (Rose Leslie; Game of Thrones, The Last Witch Hunter) and Paul (Harry Treadaway; Penny Dreadful, Cockneys vs Zombies). They are the normal, sweet, likable and nuanced characters horror fans deserve.

This film is in no rush. We take our time getting to know the newlyweds and, although they do honeymoon in a cabin in the woods, it’s not as secluded and troped up as it sounds. The role of the “harbinger” is understated and there is nothing campy to be found. Janiak is staging a proper horror film for us.

One night Paul finds Bea wandering naked in the woods and afterwards she just isn’t the same. She forgets how to make coffee and French toast, and becomes generally more distant whereas prior to her nude midnight stroll they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Something is clearly wrong and right away Paul knows it. He just doesn’t know what exactly is wrong…or why.

As someone who has been in a few very serious relationships in my time, Bea’s odd behavior was palpably uncomfortable and it really hit home for me. I could only imagine the emotional terror Paul must have felt when Bea suddenly took such a change, and on their honeymoon no less! Their on-screen chemistry is strong, so it’s all the worse when the paranoia sets in.

The effects are not abundant but they accomplish exactly what they need to, being weird and gross and slimy. Just the way I like them! Normally I’m more descriptive about effects, but they’re too integral to the story revelations and I don’t want to spoil it.  [At the end of this review, after the movie poster below, there are images depicting the special effects…I suggest you only look if you’ve already seen the movie.]

The acting is excellent, the atmosphere breeds unease, and this is among few movies that have made me nervous for the main characters. What a cool film. You should definitely catch it while it’s on Netflix.

If I had one complaint it would be that the ending is completely unresolved. But it’s cool anyway. I want more films like this! And so does Mark, who also loved this film… Mark’s Review Here.

MY CALL: I struggle to truly call this horror, rather this feels more like a violent drama featuring a supernatural character. It lacks any substantial plot or character development…yet I really enjoyed it! MOVIES LIKE He Never Died:  This is one of those modern indie horrors that transcends its genre a bit such that we may throw out a term like “horror hybrid.” To that end, I’d suggest films like Spring (2015), Honeymoon (2014) and A Girl Walks Home Alone (2014)–all of which focus more on the relationships therein than their encapsulating horror themes.

Written and directed by Jason Krawczyk, this snarky little film delivers Henry Rollins (Feast, Bad Boys 2) exactly as he should be–immortal, gruff and unable to feel pain or emotions.  Rollins plays Jack, a no nonsense man of few words, simple means, and a solid respect for privacy.  He keeps to himself and leaves his simplistically unfestive apartment for little more than church bingo, his favorite diner or to meet a hospital intern (Booboo Stewart; X-Men: Days of Future Past) for an illegal exchange of sorts.

Somehow Jack crosses paths with some screw-up criminals who find out the hard way that Jack is not the man to cross. And when you cross him, his temper is short and consequences are grave.  A nice slow throat rip, a dash of cannibalism and a few well-handled punches to the face add a unique flavor to this very dark comedy which presents itself surprisingly like an off-Broadway play in terms of atmosphere and delivery.

Jack is like an occasionally kind sociopath trying to (quite successfully) fend off any vestige of human emotion that may well up inside him while likewise staving back a strange macabre compulsion from a deep and distant, perhaps Biblical past. At one point Jack rather audibly removes a bullet from his head–it was a pleasure!

Nothing Oscar-worthy, but I really enjoyed Rollins’ depiction of Jack–rendered stolid from centuries of monotonous life. He has strong aversions to conversation, he answers questions literally and concisely, and does a good job revealing as little as possible about himself.  But I suppose if I had what appear angel wing excision scars, I’d be keeping more than a few secrets myself.  That said, his interactions–few as they may be and always forced upon him–are amusingly awkward.

Despite the deliberate lack of a plot that matters or any form of proper character development, this remains a pretty cool movie. Highly recommended to indie horror fans, indie movie fans in general or anyone who likes Henry Rollins for any reason.

NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW
Just a few questionable images for the office.
NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW

MY CALL: In this gory, raunchy, hilarious coming-of-age zombedy, three teenagers rediscover their friendship and renew the awesome resourcefulness that is being a scout…and using those skills for killing zombies. It’s a great ride! MOVIES LIKE Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse: More appropriate horror comedies include Zombie Strippers (2008), Zombieland (2009), Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (2009), Piranha 3D (2010), Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010), Final Destination 5 (2011; not exactly comedy, but occasionally hilarious), Piranha 3DD (2012), The Cabin in the Woods (2012), The Voices (2014), Smothered (2014), Housebound (2014), Zombeavers (2014), Cooties (2015), Ava’s Possessions (2015), What We Do in the Shadows (2015), The Final Girls (2015), Krampus (2015; not exactly comedy, but occasionally hilarious) and Love in the Time of Monsters (2015).

This movie is rambunctiously scored from start to finish. All horror comedies should be so bold as to have Blake Anderson (Workaholics) twerking down the halls to Iggy Azalea’s Black Widow while mopping the floors. Too bad he dies right away, but the scene is long, hilarious and REALLY gory. What more could you want? Follow that up with stock footage of David Koechner (Final Destination 5, Cheap Thrills, Krampus, Piranha 3DD) as an awkward scout leader in a recruiting video and I think director Christopher Landon (writer for Paranormal Activity 2-5) is off to a great start!

We don’t get very far in this movie before the gore properly reveals itself. It’s a sloppy mess of awesome and this infectious bloody zombiism permeates the animal kingdom to deliver a zombie deer with its guts hanging out.

This flick really delivers and doesn’t stop with the gore. The hormonally raging Ben (Tye Sheridan; The Stanford Prison Experiment), straight-laced Carter (Logan Miller; Would You Rather) and boy scout fanatic Auggie (Joey Morgan; Compadres) are three readily likable high school sophomores with a newfound American Pie-like discovery of women. Their love interests: stripper Denise (Sarah Dumont; Don Jon) and classmate Kendall (Halston Sage; Goosebumps). As if copying from Superbad‘s (2007) class notes, Ben has charged Carter with scoring some beer and getting them to the party that will “change their lives.”

After such an amazing opening act, the movie had to lose a little steam ever so briefly in the middle before returning full steam ahead into lunacy. Even at its slowest point it’s a nice experience. As it comes back full-tilt some people might be a bit bothered by the level of physicality of these zombies (i.e., WWE wrestling moves, jumping on trampolines). But it’s a solidly fun and adventurous horror comedy.

These boys’ misadventures lead them to zombie strippers, challenges of their friendship, zombie boobs, a Britney Spears sing-along, a crazy old cat lady zombie, the crazy old cat lady zombie’s crazy cat zombies, elderly zombie penis stretching and dismemberment, and zombie oral sex. As dirty and perverted as this all sounds it could have been much raunchier and grosser. Trust me, it’s probably nothing that will make you uncomfortable if you enjoyed Piranha 3DD (2012).

In this gory coming-of-age zombedy, these three boys rediscover their friendship and renew the awesome resourcefulness that is being a scout…and using those skills for killing zombies! It’s a great ride!

You’re probably wondering where they got this title?
A kid makes a random comment in the movie about a big blue monkey–that’s it.
Presto! Movie title!

MY CALL: This feisty Aliens (1986) rip-off features a giant mutant praying mantis wreaking havoc in a hospital. If that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know, then I don’t know what else will. MOVIES LIKE Blue Monkey: Slugs (1989) and The Nest (1988) will deliver loads of creepy crawly 80s horror fun.

Many thanks to my online horror buddy, Zane, for sharing this bad 80s masterpiece with me. Zane is a true 80s horror aficionado and even took part in making an 80s style horror film: The Barn. So that’s my “thank you” plug for Zane and his movie. On with the review!

Also released as Invasion of the Body Suckers [no clue where that title came from] and Insect [vague, but appropriate], I love that this movie gets straight to business. After being pricked by a strange exotic plant and passing out, an old man is rushed to the hospital only to have a large white worm emerge from his mouth resulting in his death! The worm parasite quickly gets the entire hospital quarantined when numerous patients begin to show strange symptoms after the arrival of this “insect.”

Some playful young patients come across the specimen and unknowingly feed it a “nucleic acid promoter” that augments growth and hormonal activity…so presumably we’ll have a giant mutant bug in no time. Yaaaay!!!!

Director William Fruet (Goosebumps, War of the Worlds) has made his filmmaking intentions obvious as Ranger Rick meets slimy science fiction in this feisty Aliens (1986) rip-off in which we emulate the infection scene (in the greenhouse with the plant), chestburster scene, the queen alien egg-laying scene complete with flashing blue background lighting, kids and monsters in ventilation shafts like Newt, and slimy secretions galore from a giant insectoid creature that grows at an alarming pace.

They even reproduce the scene in which the queen xenomorph is infuriated by lighting her egg chamber and offspring on fire.

Our biological updates about the praying mantis monster are delivered by the local entomologist (Don Lake; Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Short Circuit 2) and non-scientific exposition comes courtesy of the hospital administrator (John Vernon; Killer Klowns from Outer Space, The Uncanny)–both roles being much appreciated by this 80s horror fan.

There’s plenty of goofy rubber monster suit action in this fun 80s creature feature. We see a lot of our monster and like Peter Pan across the Broadway stage it swings from the ceiling. It’s laughably awesome and there are a few scenes of festive gore.

The film ended with a typically campy twist that left a smile on my face. There was even an implication that two intoxicated patients were spared because of their inebriation–much like Grabbers (2012). If you like any bad 80s horror, then you should enjoy this.