MY CALL: This playful creation-gone-wrong film by a young Wes Craven brings back a wonderful 80s nostalgia to this lifetime horror lover. Just enough zany gore, silly scenarios and a wack-tastic ending to overcome a severely limited budget. MOVIES LIKE Deadly Friend: Man’s Best Friend (1993) comes to mind, along with the MUCH more gory Re-Animator (1985) and Return of the Living Dead 3 (1993). All three movies involve creations that get out of hand.

The 80s loved robots… The Terminator (1984), Short Circuit (1986), Chopping Mall (1986), *Batteries Not Included (1987), Short Circuit II (1988)… and here’s another one!

A teenager on a university scholarship studying the human brain, young inventor Paul (Matthew Labyorteaux) creates artificial intelligence. Let’s just stop right there. This “kid” develops a free-thinking robot…in the 80s…with the computer technology we had IN THE 80s…and he’s somehow not bitches’n’hoes, rap-video-rich and sprinkling crushed diamonds in his food already? I wonder, in the movie-verse, how the events of this movie would affect Skynet going live at 5:18 pm ET on July 25th, 2004 and attempt to eradicate Sarah Conner along with all of mankind with terminators. Paul is already lecturing to students at PolyTech… I’m assuming one of his students was Miles Dyson.

We meet Paul’s cute neighbor Samantha (Kristy Swanson; Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Swamp Shark) and her uber-creepy sweaty abusive dad (Richard Marcus; Enemy Mine, Tremors, The Being), his creepy old neighbor Elvira (the mean old villainess from The Goonies), and some local punks who get their balls squeezed by a protective BB. Speaking of which, BB is super cute but he seems to take note to those who have wronged him.

Paul’s robot “BB” is nothing short of absolutely adorable and he sounds like Disney’s Stitch or a Star Wars Jawa. At one point when he was meeting the teenage neighbor boy I think he said “Houtini.” BB is always getting upgraded and, as a result, smarter. Meanwhile Paul is making decades of scientific progress in mere weeks, already developing the circuitry to jump-start the nervous system of a cadaver.

When a prank-gone-wrong results in creepy Elvira shotgun-blasting BB to robot Heaven, Paul loses his robo-bestie. Worse yet, the very night of his first kiss with Samantha, a domestic dispute with her father sends her to the hospital with a fatal injury. So naturally Paul steals Samantha’s body, surgically implants BB’s “spare brain” (a motherboard, basically) into Samantha, and then Weird Science meets Re-Animator as he reanimates BB-Sam complete with remote control. Why there is no button to turn his Cyborg-girlfriend into a sex droid is beyond me. I guess as a teenage neuro-robotics prodigy he gets plenty of play already.

This poster kind of goes with the sex droid theme. A bit misleading if you ask me.

Let’s just say that the remote control doesn’t work out as effectively as Paul would like, because BB-Sam goes on a killing spree to snuff out everyone who ever wronged BB or Samantha. This in mind, maybe it’s a blessing that he didn’t go the sex droid route. Although it would have made for a great death scene! LOL.

Director Wes Craven (Scream 4, Deadly Blessing, Cursed) was playful with his low budget-limited few moments of gore. A violent dream sequence has Samantha killing her father and then being doused by his blood as if pouring from a spout. We also witness the exquisitely goretastic use of a basketball for a detonation-like decapitation. Not to mention the unreasonably stupid but equally super-fun gory surprise ending.

Well this is totally reasonable. You see, BB’s robot spirit caused genetic changes such that under the skin her organs were replaced with circuitry and metal. Isn’t pseudoscience fun?

The basketball scene and the ending alone are worth owning this movie, but it offers a lot of 80s horror nostalgia and a story that works in its own zany way. I really enjoyed it.

MY CALL: A perfect zombie movie that doesn’t at all feel like a “zombie” movie in the best possible way. Shift your expectations appropriately away from gory horror to a very human, relationship-driven drama and you, too, should love this film. Very powerful. MOVIES LIKE The Returned: There is no proper match to this film, which is part of its splendor. Recent werewolf and vampire films like Wer (2013) and Afflicted (2013) have taken contemporary approaches as well, but still err in being “overly supernatural” and seem to lose sight of plausibility as their stories progress. 28 Days Later (2002) and The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005) did better, but they didn’t necessarily feel plausible…just not so radically impossible.

From the opening credits we are presented powerful imagery from the past of a brutal, traumatic, and even plausible domestic attack in which a wife and kids are cannibalized by a loved one-turned-zombie.

Shifting to the present, we meet Alex (Kris Holden-Ried; Underworld: Awakening, Lost Girl). He appears in every way to be a regular guy in a regular happy relationship talking about regular things…”it’s time we told them,” he says to Kate (Emily Hampshire; Good Neighbors, The Cradle). The kind of thing you’d say about informing your family of good news or bad; a pregnancy, an engagement, or even cancer.

Cut to a hospital and we see Kate treating people in the “Returned Unit.” Patients, small talk with co-workers, kind bedside manner, “good news” from doctors…everything seems normal until a doctor’s advice to parents taking their recovered child home seems just “a bit abnormal,” as we are introduced to the fact that this “returned” child is being returned to his parents with instructions to give him an injection every day…an injection for which it is rumored that supply will soon fail to meet demand. Kate assures the parents that everything is fine, then secretly stockpiles the drug at home. A drug that keeps the virus at bay for no more than 24-36 hours.

“Returned” is a household term met with adversity–much like abortion. And likewise, it has it’s protestor demonstrations, financial interests and political conflict. Whether “returned” or not–people are scared…people are angry…people are in denial…people are desperate…and people want to live normal lives. Eventually, some people even turn on the people they love.

In this world the threat of zombies is real, and it truly “feels” real. This film’s approach to the “zombie” is perfect and, in essence, this feels nothing at all like a zombie movie. The premise is shockingly plausible and I was immersed. Only during the most limited “turned-zombie scenes” does this feel momentarily like a zombie film–but such scenes were handled well and fail to challenge my investment in the realness of the story. The gore was very little and very, very rare. What we see is done well. But even as a totally camp-tastic, rubber-guts-ophilic gorehound I still absolutely loved this film.

As we observe the downward spiral leading to the much feared “next epidemic,” the cast does a fantastic job infecting us with urgency. The relationships between the characters are palpably strong. We feel them, we empathize for them, we want them to be okay and, when things grow dire, we feel it tugging at our heart strings.

Shift your expectations appropriately away from horror to very human, relationship-driven drama and you, too, should love this film. It had me totally committed from beginning to the very powerful end. Very powerful.

MY CALL: My greatest cautionary advice would be to skip this cautionary tale and watch something else instead. After all, this theme has been executed much better in the past. WHAT TO WATCH INSTEAD OF The Monkey’s Paw: Movies like Wishmaster (1997) and Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies (1999) come to mind. They’re gory and zany and tons of silly fun. I’d skip Wishmaster 3: Beyond the Gates of Hell (2001) and Wishmaster 4: The Prophecy Fulfilled (2002), though. Also try Tales from the Crypt (1972). Stephen King’s Thinner (1996) distorts in a similar vein using a curse.

Based on the classic horror story and cautionary tale based on the short story by W.W. Jacobs, The Monkey’s Paw tests the waters of mixing distorted wish-granting with “be careful what you wish for” notions. In this iteration Jake (C. J. Thomason; Husk, Sutures) comes into possession of the ill-fated magical talisman at a local watering hole from his embittered ex-boss who seems a little too glad (in almost a vindictive way) to be rid of the fate-twisting trinket.

It’s a little silly, but not necessarily unrealistically approached with the wish-making. The first (rather skeptically made) wish was for a car: “I wish for that bitchin’ GT outside.” The second saves the life of Jake’s rough-around-the-edges co-worker Tony (Stephen Lang; Conan the Barbarian, Avatar, Salem). And if Pet Sematary (1989) has taught us anything, it’s that people who are magically saved from death tend to continue life as a homicidal husk of what they once were. In this case, that husk of a man also really wants the last wish from the Monkey’s Paw.

The weakest point of this movie is that it relies on a homicidal pseudo-zombie for its kills instead of several uniquely distorted and gorily treated wishes. It makes the story about Tony, as if he were a motivated killer instead of one of many victims of a Monkey’s Paw. This fails; we don’t care, Tony isn’t interesting, and we’re looking for more creative death scenes.

At one point Jake goes to see a fortune teller. That, of course, is melodramatically treated and to no satisfaction of us viewers. Jake tries to rationally explain his situation to people…that NEVER goes well in these movies either. Then we get the explanation of how the paw works from the former owner. Again, none of these storytelling or harbingering devices work remotely well for us. Triple storytelling fail. But, hey, that’s okay because the acting is great…no, scratch that…wrong word…appalling is what I meant. Yup. That’s it. The acting is appalling.

Yeah, that was MY face throughout much of this movie.

Normally direct-to-DVD flicks like this will at least possess the saving grace of an effort towards excessive gore. Negative again! Evidently the filmmakers were relying on their heavily flawed, soap operatic storytelling to sell DVDs. I wonder if they sold enough DVDs to buy a tank of gas yet.

The fun of these “wishes gone wrong” flicks is all in how the gory, funny, ironic deaths are handled and how creative the wish distortions are. We see neither such redeeming quality for even a moment. Contrastingly, clever writing can make these supernatural stories feel feasible when the ancillary characters of course disbelieve the magic and find the protagonist crazy (if even dumb eough to try to explain their story to, say, a police officer). No clever writing either. Nope. This flick was crappy through and through.

This is the bulk of our gory fun. It’s very “meh” in quality.

All of this was gleaned after 60 minutes of the movie. Just imagine how bad then the final 30 minutes must have been. NOT GOOD, folks. Let’s skip this movie. Don’t buy it, rent it, on-demand it, Netflix…don’t even watch this on the Scy-Fy channel at 2pm laying on the couch on a rainy sick day half asleep from cold medicine. Yeah, it’s that kind of lame.

               MY CALL: Although suffering from a slow pace and over-exposition, this was a promising little micro-budget movie by a filmmaker early in his career. After seeing this man-eating water nymph story, I look forward to what he can do when paired with better writers and a meatier budget. MOVIES LIKE Killer Mermaid: Other fun and, to be honest, better made mythological/folklore-based movies in contemporary settings include Thale (2012), Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010) and Trollhunter (2010). ALTERNATE TITLES: This movie was also released as Mamula and Nymph.

Opening, in all straight-faced seriousness, with a soulful Moby Dick quote only to transition into a cute couple’s vacation montage scored by promiscuously-themed club music and by the fourth minute baring breasts upon us…this movie is clearly all about balancing mood. Maybe more about balancing one ominous introductory quote with lots of bikinis, butt-angled camera shots and mermaid breasts to come.

Kelly (Kristina Klebe; Breadcrumbs, Chillerama, Halloween) and Lucy (Natalie Burn; In the Name of the King 2, The Expendables 3) go on a Mediterranean adventure vacation to a small, uninhabited island with Lucy’s Serbian ex-boyfriend Alex, who is bringing his fiancée…awkwaaaaaard. Needless to say, some lovelines get crossed. Also needless to say, this is hardly pertinent to the story.

Our young attractive group of vacationers encounter a super creepy old man (Franco Nero; The Woods, Django Unchained) who tries to warn them away from the island they wish to visit (Mamula) and of the man-eating nymph Scylla, who evidently “ate” this old man’s entire diving crew. I wonder why they didn’t buy into his totally credible story about an aquatic chick eating six grown men. So they go despite these warnings.

The island looked so beautiful in the daylight.

After he opening scenes and meeting the characters, things move at a sluggish pace and the acting is nothing to brag about. The good thing about that is that we more than sufficiently get to know the characters and maybe even care about some of them. The bad part is that we came to see a movie called “killer mermaid” and an hour into the movie we still haven’t seen this flesh-gnawing fish girl!

Nothing like The Little Mermaid‘s Ariel, our “monster” in this movie is a mix of Greek mythology’s singing siren and an anthropophagous mermaid. But to compliment this we also get a psychopathic fisherman pick-axing people with a grappling hook. When we eventually see the mermaid with her latex suit and CGI-tail it is, in fact, satisfying. I just wish we got to see a lot more of her throughout the movie. And no, I’m not talking about mermaid boobs…but they’re there as well.

She’s kind of cute.

The gore in this fantasy-horror is hardly present, minimal and infrequent. A bucket of chum made of severed hands, an impaled neck (but we don’t see it happen), some corpse butchering (but we don’t see it happen), and a single satisfying axe to the back make up everything leading up to the equally ungory finale. No good mermaid-related kills though. And that just ain’t right!

Oh, right…she transforms from pretty to “less” pretty.

Directed by Milan Todorovic, who is credited as the creator of the “first Serbian zombie movie” (Zone of the Dead) and now the “first” Serbian sea creature movie. I’m not so sure that these “firsts” should be considered noteworthy, but this movie wasn’t awful. It was really only “bad” in “good” ways and it certainly showed us what Todorovic can envision and do with a tiny budget. The storytelling suffers from over-exposition, especially in the very end, but this is fixable with experience and is nothing I’d advise skipping the movie over.

“I told you kids to stay away from that island!”

Give this flick a chance.

MY CALL:  This film came out of nowhere and blew away viewer expectations by bringing us smart characters, a creepiness that developed with the story, and a not-so color by numbers plot.  Very good horror film.  MOVIES LIKE The Taking of Deborah Logan:  Try Oculus (2014) and The Babadook (2014) if you’re looking for recent releases that break the mold.

The Taking of Deborah Logan tells a story that we haven’t already heard a dozen times and it tells the story well.  Deborah (Jill Larson; Shutter Island) is a charming early stage Alzheimer’s disease patient living with her anxious caregiving daughter (Anne Ramsay; Planet of the Apes, Critters 4).  In exchange for much needed financial compensation, they agree to let PhD student Mia (Michelle Ang; Underemployed) and her audio-visual team stay with them, record them, and study the effects Alzheimer’s disease has on the unafflicted surrounding family members.

Isn’t Mia a cute, spunky little grad student?

Something that I always must point out is when a horror movie does a good job of getting to know its characters and getting us to like them and invest in their well-being.  From the very start, I wanted to learn more about Deborah, her daughter, and the academic team studying them.  First-time feature-length director Adam Robitel did such a GREAT job, in fact, that it didn’t feel like a horror movie at all at first…and I didn’t care.  If this movie turned out to be a family drama I still would have wanted to see these characters develop.  What’s more is that the story in no way relied on the characters’ stupid decisions to move forward.  The story unfolded as the characters, in fact, made wise or at least credible decisions in an incredible situation.  Amazing job–and a great storytelling victory for the horror genre to close out 2014.

Mia’s team watches as Deborah’s episodes and symptoms worsen at an accelerating rate and, with these episodes’ intensity, we also see a greater and more frequent danger to Mia’s team.  The characters great freaked out for good reasons, and things just keep getting creepier and weirder as we begin to learn more about what is causing Deborah’s disease to become so aggressive and more about her mysterious history with her close friend living next door.  The story finds good synthesis, great creepiness, and appropriately effective gore and shock value without trying to compete with overblown shock cinema.

This film was rich with scares and all of them for legitimate reasons….no loud noises and camera angles to spur needless jumps.  The scares had effective, creepy build-up and even when you saw them coming they were still shocking.  What’s more is that the shocks and their creepy build-ups both appropriately amplify as the movie shifts from its subtle beginnings to its moderately intense end.

Yeah…it gets pretty weird.

You may have noticed that I have gone out of my way to reveal EXTREMELY little about this film (other than the photos in this review).  Why?  Well, it’s one of the best horror films of 2014 and it deserves to not be spoiled….and YOU deserve to be surprised.  Just know this—it’s NOT a found footage film although there is a good deal of documentary style filming/camera-work, it is supernatural in nature, and it’s something of a horror mystery.

See this movie.  Right now it’s on Netflix.

MY CALL:  Only die hard gore and horror anthology fans should even consider this schizophrenic mix of wildly inane short films.  Overall this is nothing special.  But I’ll bet you could make one Hell of a drinking game out of it!  MOVIES LIKE ABCs of Death 2:  Some other fun, decent and/or clever anthologies include (in order of release date):  Black Sabbath (1963), Tales from the Crypt (1972), The Vault of Horror (1973), Creepshow (1982), Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983), Stephen King’s Cat’s Eye (1985), Creepshow 2 (1987), Tales from the Dark Side: The Movie (1990), Necronomicon: Book of the Dead (1993), Campfire Tales (1997), 3 Extremes (2004), Trick ‘r Treat (2007), Chillerama (2011), Little Deaths (2011), V/H/S (2012), The Theater Bizarre (2012), The ABCs of Death (2013), The Profane Exhibit (2013) and V/H/S 2 (2014).

This movie features a wide range of filming styles, varied and (sometimes) creative special effects, some nice use of stop-motion, standard animation and all manner of gore delivered in both serious and humorous context.  Are you looking for a film that features dismemberment, murderous grandmothers that won’t die, mass murder, bath salt-induced mania, tentacles, zombie court and weird transformations?  Well, depending my interpretation of what I saw in the melee of clips from this film you may be in for all that…all be it in small doses and of questionable quality.  As a fan of gross-out gobs of gobbledy-gook horror and creative and/or funny and/or just plain awful twisted death scenes, I thought that this movie would NO MATTER WHAT be a big pleaser for the darker side of my soul.  I was largely wrong.  I had thought the same of The ABCs of Death (2013), which was in fact better than this “sequel” but also similarly not so great.

Like a child’s ABC book, the film is comprised of 26 individual chapters, each helmed by a different director assigned a letter. Each director had total freedom to choose a word to create a story involving death; 26 directors from around the world have contributed all manner of random death clips.

I’m a huge fan of horror anthology movies. They get a little flack because they come from a range of writers, directors and production quality–but that’s what I like.  It also makes horror shorts available to those of us who do not attend film school or genre-geared film fests (e.g., Fantastic Fest).  We get to taste a lot of stories and ideas and, if we don’t like one of the shorts after a few minutes just wait for the next one to start.  If you don’t like a film in Creepshow (3 stories) you’d wait 20-30 minutes for the next story.  With V/H/S (5 stories) one need wait only 15-20 minutes.  However this has 26 stories, so you’d only have to wait what?  Maybe 5 minutes?  Sadly, because of generally low quality and uninspired shorts, you’ll find yourself waiting a lot.

Below is an ABC guide to the shorts, their directors and their past work, a few components of the short and an occasional comment…

“A is for Amateur” by E. L. Katz (Cheap Thrills)
Nudity; drug use.  This humorously shifts from an edgy, sleek first-time hitman’s fantasy to a fumbling cruel reality.  Beautifully shot!  Good blood work.  Funny.

“B is for Badger” by Julian Barratt
Humorous gore; dismemberment.  Tongue-in-cheek nature documentary gone wrong.

“C is for Capital Punishment” by Julian Gilbey (A Lonely Place to Die)
Decapitation.  A wrongful execution.

“D is for Deloused” by Robert Morgan (various short films)
Claymation; decapitation.  Very creepy and a little trancy.  I didn’t really get it, but I liked it.

Anyone else reminded of a Tool music video right about now?

“E is for Equilibrium” by Alejandro Brugués (Juan of the Dead)
Comedy.  Two island castaways discover a woman washed ashore.  Very goofy.  Really liked it.

This short tells a truly cute story in a very cute way and it ends in a cute murder and a cute kind of happiness.

“F is for Falling” by Aharon Keshales (Kalevet, Big Bad Wolves) and Navot Papushado
Arabic (?) language; broken bone.  This film didn’t seem to fit in well. Not that it was bad.

“G is for Grandad” by Jim Hosking
Full frontal elderly male nudity.  Ungrateful punk visits his grandfather.  Weird.

“H is for Head Games” by Bill Plympton (Mutant Aliens)
Animated slapstick gore.  Lots of weird imagery and weaponized body parts and bodily functions.

“I is for Invincible” by Erik Matti
Patricide; immolation; decapitation; foreign language.  Trying to kill grandma for her inheritance but she just won’t die.

“J is for Jesus” by Dennison Ramalho
Portuguese; full frontal nudity; genital torture; dismemberment; stigmata.  Gay exorcism.

“K is for Knell” by Bruno Samper and Kristina Buozyte
Mass murder ensues a lunar event.  Then things get weird.

“L is for Legacy” by Lancelot Oduwa Imasuen
Horrible CGI, lousy middle school quality make-up.  Beyond stupid! “M is for Masticate” by Robert Boocheck (Horrific) Bath salts. Slow motion filmed crazy fat guy neck-biting some poor shlub.

Evidently bath salts also cause instant body hair growth. Lord, look at those shoulders. It’s like he’s wearing a sweater!

“N is for Nexus” by Larry Fessenden (Beneath, Wendigo)
Nudity.  Extremely stupid, not in a good way.

“O is for Ochlocracy” by Hajime Ohata (Metamorphosis)
Foreign language; zombies.  Zombies try and prosecute their still-human assailants in court.  Fun idea.  Dumb film. “P is for P-P-P-P Scary!” by Todd Rohal (Nature Calls)
So stupid that it’s annoying.

“Q is for Questionnaire” by Rodney Ascher (Visions of Terror)
Surgery.  Brutally gory surgery scene.

“R is for Roulette” by Marvin Kren (Blood Glacier)
Russian Roulette, foreign language.

“S is for Split” by Juan Martínez Moreno (Game of Werewolves)
Gory.  Home invasion.  This one was really quite good.

“T is for  Torture Porn” by the Soska twins (American Mary)
Very, very, very weird.  Basically a porn job interview turns into a live-action Hentai with men as the victims of tentacle porn rape.

“U is for Utopia” by Vincenzo Natali (Haunter, Splice, Cube)
Immolation.  An unbeautiful person in an otherwise beautiful world is “solved.”

“V is for vacation” by Jerome Sable (Stage Fright, The Legend of Beaver Dam)
Nudity.  Morally reprehensible, but one of the better shorts.

“W is for Wish” by Steven Kostanski (Manborg)
Organ removal; stop-motion.  Zany, campy, gory fantasy fun.  Very funny.

“X is for Xylophone” by Julien Maury (Inside, Livid) and Alexandre Bustillo
This short film boils down to one goretastic punchline.

“Y is for Youth” by Sôichi Umezawa
Japanese; transformation; Tokyo Shock; phallic stuff; evil sperm.  This is bonkers.  A woman turns into a dog that spits sharpened pencils, that turn into worms, which combine into a worm hand…and that’s not even a fraction of the really weird shit.

“Z is for Zygote” by Chris Nash
Birth scene.  A very long-term pregnancy gets very weird and VERY gory.  Gross…but a very cool film.

Two rather related horror franchises have recently been gaining traction in the movie rumor mills: Poltergeist and Paranormal Activity.  Now, Poltergeist (1982) and Poltergeist II (1986) stand as excellent proof that the best horror came from the 80s.  But Poltergeist III (1988), while watchable, suffered a noticeable drop in quality.  Similarly, I loved Paranormal Activity (2007) and Paranormal Activity 2 (2010).  But sadly, just as with the Poltergeist franchise, things started to fall apart with PA 3 (2011), and PA 4 (2012) really just upset me.  Today I want to focus on Poltergeist.

Let’s be clear here, though.  I’m going to see every movie that they will ever make in these horror franchises, despite my skepticism of future installments, spin-offs, reboots or remakes.  And I hope they turn out well.  But cinematic history harbingers a disappointing future.  Back in 2013 I wrote John’s Horror Corner presents Strong Opinions: on the Poltergeist remake when the first announcements of the new Poltergeist project were being made there was obviously no trailer…nor a set or a completed script for that matter.  I was quite skeptical and presented some of my rantings on the issue of the Poltergeist remake.  But now we have a trailer and a July 24, 2015 release date….and it has perked my interest.  Sure, lots of trailers may look great and promise the moon and then deliver crap (e.g., Annabelle), so I won’t get my hopes too high just yet.

Here are some of my concerns…

1. Before I simply didn’t think this movie was ready for a remake/reboot.  In fact, perhaps it would never be.  Why?  In 2013 I had originally thought this because, despite the complete lack of CGI, the effects remain effective and creepy even to today’s audiences.  Just look at The Thing (1982); another EPIC horror movie with dated yet amazingly creepy effects that hold up to this day.  They prequeled/remade/rebooted The Thing (2011) and focused all of their attention to filling the film with CGI monsters while paying no attention to the ever-tooth-grinding tension of the original.  They screwed up iconic scenes (e.g., the blood test), presented allegedly “different” characters who looked and acted just like the characters from the original (except for one female character), and gave me no reason to care when any of them were slaughtered.  I actually give a play by play of how they screwed up that remake, and back in 2013 I was horrified that this may happen to Poltergeist.  But in 2013, when I was praising the scary quality of Tobe Hooper’s original film, I had not seen it in a looong time.  Having seen it this year, I agree that it is still a great film but I no longer consider it an effective “scary” movie to an adult audience.  To kids, yes, very scary.  To adults…?  Nope.  Not horror fans anyway.  The upcoming remake was criticized on Cinema Blend and other horror forums as being a horror movie for kids.  But that’s actually what the original would serve to be today!  I still love the original, but it is no longer scary, I no longer feel tension or urgency, and no–it’s not because I’ve seen it before and know what’s going to happen.  It’s just more youth-centric in its effectiveness and execution.  So maybe, just maybe a contemporary approach is exactly what we need.  Yes.  A contemporary approach directed by someone who was scared of Poltergeist as a child, but now finds it to be more of a “great horror story” than a “scary movie” (for a general audience).

Poltergeist certainly had some influence on other films.  Hmmm…seems evil dolls have become a thing since 1982.  Not that Poltergeist was the only evil doll movie of its time.

Here’s a scene with uber-limited special effects–basically none. Yet, this scene is waaaaay creepy back in the day. You wouldn’t think it by the image, but when you watch you see it–that clown doll is effing EVIL!

This was done with some sort of greenscreening and it took me off guard. It also looks really cool and weird.  When it moves those stilty legs, it looks creepy and scary to kids.  To today’s adults, however, it may fail to impress.

Okay, I’ll admit this looks fake. But the clay-faced fakeness of this actually made it seem more surreal and off-putting. This was really hard to watch as he tore his own face apart!  This scene may have stood the test of time…and the test of gross-outs.  But in all fairness, this scene would have never been MPAA-approved for a PG movie today.  Really hard to watch!

Below is another scene that just wouldn’t scare adults today.  In 1982 the effects were not worn out yet and this trick had not been played so much before.

2.  Back in 2013 I feared that Director Gil Kenan doesn’t have much experience.  Sure, he directed Monster House (2006) which is a children’s family-friendly horror comedy, and he did City of Ember (2008) which is a family fantasy-adventure movie.  Note the theme here, though…happy smiley family stuff.  Poltergeist may have been rated PG, but it was scary (back in 1982) and would easily give even today’s PG-aged children nightmares.  There’s just not enough evidence to suggest that Kenan can handle this project.  HOWEVER, that’s not to say that fledgling directors don’t occasionally accomplish great things.  I love being surprised by young directors and I hope to be surprised this summer!

3.  Speaking of proven track records, James Wan was originally slated to helm this project.  His work with Saw (2004), Dead silence (2007) and The Conjuring (2013) demonstrates the considerable attention he pays to building painful suspense, chilling moods, cold calculating evil characters and strong family unity when faced with supernatural adversity.  He has also shown us (in The Conjuring) that he will not tolerate his characters making idiotic mistakes, nor does he allow them to become impractically strong, smart, etcetera.  He plays his cards just right and I love him for it.  But, even without Wan things may be working out in horror fans’ favor.  After all, Sam Raimi produced our upcoming remake!  And that actually brings me a lot of comfort.  I’d like to think Kenan listened when Raimi offered his advice.

Wan would have been perfect to remake this classic in which restless spirits from the other side reach out to a vulnerable little girl, Carol Ann.

4. AICN had long ago released casting announcements for the Poltergeist remake, which now includes Saxon Sharbino as the older teenage daughter, Kyle Catlett and Kennedi Clements as their youngest.  But I’m most comforted by the casting of Sam Rockwell and Rosemarie DeWitt as the parents.  These strike me as smart choices–talented, grounded actors who don’t do horror.  Ron Livingston and Lili Taylor fit this mold well in The Conjuring.  Likewise Jared Harris (The Quiet Ones) and Jane Adams should serve as a good paranormal team akin to, but less attractive than, Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga.  This wise casting could save this movie if the director can keep up with the actors.

The original casting in Poltergeist felt perfect. But this portrait of an American family is, in fact, reproducible.

She was perfectly weird.  She is NOT reproducible!  I hope they don’t even try.  Any medium can be a weird character, but if they go super short then they’re just trying too hard.

Some unawkward paranormal investigators for a change in The Conjuring, which has some Poltergeist-y elements.  I trust Jared Harris and Jane Adams are sculpted into their own unique characters, even though Adams seems a LOT like the big-haired spectacled academic lady from Poltergeist.

JoBeth Williams was a regular, good mom.  Vulnerable to the thought of losing her daughter, but appropriately strong to get her back.  Lili Taylor felt exactly like that in The Conjuring.  I hope Rosemarie DeWitt can hold the role as well.

5. But even with good casting another question comes to mind…hasn’t Poltergeist sort of already been remade–even if only in pieces of recent movies?  I mean, there was no solid Cain-analogous character (Cain was in part II), but between the Insidious series and The Conjuring, not to mention the strange domestic occurrences in Dark Skies (2013) or the PA series, I can’t help but to feel that we’ve covered most of the integral scenes.  I’m afraid people will compare the Poltergeist remake to these aforementioned movies which are, at least in part, Poltergeist remakes already.  You know what?  I don’t care.  I enjoyed all of those movies, borrowed or not.  BRING ON THE REMAKE!

Hmmmm….this does feel familiar, though.

Greetings, horrorounds!  We spend so much of our time complaining about re-used, recycled, unoriginal, tired out horror tropes and stories and stale archetypal horror character roles presented by actors that can’t act, directors who can rarely direct, and budgets that don’t get us anywhere.  So I thought it was time for us to take a moment to remember that even today in the modern horror era we find the occasional delight in our modern horror in the form of worthy remakes or original approaches to old ideas…maybe even some new ideas.

So I give you 15 photos for 15 years of horror.  These don’t necessarily represent the 15 best horror movies since 2000, but rather 15 of the most memorable moments.  I really wanted to include movies like Session 9 and The Skeleton Key, but such films are more about tone that single iconic images.

The Taking of Deborah Logan (2014)

There is little more shocking than watching a rapidly-senescing, possessed elderly woman swallowing a child’s head whole like one of those egg-swallowing snakes!  Even more surprising is that nothing in this film was ridiculous, but rather largely rational and the characters were likable and not completely inept.  Very good, unexpected film.

Oculus (2014)

No. No. No. No.  NO!!!!  I don’t care if it’s your lovely, long-dead mother who looks so happy to see you with her caring arms outreached to embrace you.  Those outreached arms are breaking the reflective barrier of a mirror and that’s ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS evil!!!  DO…NOT…HUG!

The Conjuring (2013)

Were the noises loud? Yes. But The Conjuring accompanied those loud noises with startling imagery and even more startling sideburns while combining a haunted house movie with a possession story…not an easy task, and James Wan did a stellar job creating an instant classic-feeling film.

The Cabin in the Woods (2012)

Most people like referencing the Merman as the most memorable aspect of this brilliantly funny, gory and clever film.  However, I refer you to the board and the premise behind it.  Was it genius?  No.  Was it 100% what we horror fans never knew we wanted?  ABSOLUTELY!!!  With such entries as “angry molesting tree” honoring Evil Dead, sexy witches and the much discussed “Kevin”….this film managed to give nods to a broad sweep of the horror genre’s better moments.

Final Destination 5 (2011)

Boasting one of the best, shocking, misleadingly elaborate deaths in the franchise and the horror genre, I give you this!  I love the finger twitch.

Grave Encounters (2011)

Such a perfectly simple tagline for this great flick we never saw coming: “They were looking for proof…they found it.”  This film blew away my expectations, did found footage WELL, told a good story, had good acting and clever dialogue.

Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010)

No scene in 2010 had me laughing more than when this teen accidently threw himself into a woodchipper…and when our innocent would-be hillbilly tried to “save him” while he was being “chipped.”

Drag Me to Hell (2009)

From being gummed by a toothless gypsy and drinking her embalming fluids to vomiting dead kittens, Sam Raimi was in full form with this gastrointestinal cinematic experience.

Martyrs (2008)

I used to think that Hellbound: Hellaraiser II was creepy as Hell with that skinless lady making her way from one victim to another.  But you know what’s worse?  Seeing someone get skinned!  This film is hailed as the most thoughtful torture-porn made today…and I should add that for this particular film, I don’t like the term “torture-porn” as it seems to detract from the very deep tone set in this film.

Hatchet (2006)

Hatchet was such a deliciously gross farce.  Every effort was made to maximize the laughs and the gore.

Saw (2004)

Remember that moment when you realized what would happen when the timer hit zero?  Terror and chest tingles!  Her eyes tell the story of what my mind felt when we were introduced to the mania of the Saw franchise.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

The cameraman was definitely doing his job here behind the behind of the lovely Jessica Biel.  This same type of shot can be enjoyed in Texas Chainsaw 3D with Tania Raymonde’s butt-cam and the 1974 original version, when this type of horror-centric shot seemed to really premiere in popularity.  A good rule to live by is that if you see a rundown house in the middle of nowhere with a really nice butt in the foreground, don’t go in!  The inhabitants will almost certainly want to eat you and wear your skin.

The Ring (2002)

Remember when Samara got really, really close to the TV screen while they were watching the video?  Wasn’t it freaky as HELL when she put her hands through it and started crawling on the floor with her evil Japanese-girl-hair-in-the-face thing going on?  So creepy!

28 Days Later (2002)

You wake up in the hospital and don’t know how you got there or what’s wrong with you, the city seems deserted as if The Rapture took everyone to Heaven except for you, and…oh right, the dead are walking–slash that–RUNNING after you ravenously while on FIRE!  Yeah, I’d say 28 Days Later it was a pretty bad day.

Ginger Snaps (2000)

A coming of age scene in a coming of age horror story.  This came out when I was 19 years old.  I remember thinking she was both weird looking and yet strangely sexy in her pre-wolf lycanthropic state.

So, there’s a new concept trailer for a horror movie that is so fresh you won’t even find it on IMDB yet from the writer/director team Steven Kostanski and Jeremy Gillespie, the guys who made Manborg (2011) and ABCs of Death 2‘s “W is for Wish” (2014)….which was probably the most balls-off-the-wall bonkers short film of the anthology.  Remember the short with the kids playing with some “Castle Greyskull” looking  toy set and action figures who are then magically transported into that fantasy/horror world?  Yeah, that was the one.

This new film coming up called The Void @VoidMovie.  The concept trailer just dropped and it is creepy, dark, and smacks of Cthulu!  The effects are all practical and they compare themselves to The Thing in that respect.  Please take a look:

The scenes they have shot utilize beautiful camera work with creepy imagery.  Words that come to mind are dark, creepy, gory, gross, atmospheric, Lovecraftian and tentacular!

Learn more about this film and how to be a part of making it happen visit here: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the-void–10

I am normally not keen on supporting crowd-funded indie projects, but the work they’ve shown me in the trailer has me excited.  So today I’m making an exception!

Did Ti West seriously just sit back and let the marketers put a spoiler on the movie poster!?!?!  “Live as one. DIE as one.”

MY CALL:  Very much a mixed bag.  The ending…so terrible…the cult leader’s mid-movie performance…so effing beautiful…it’s like watching a unicorn thrashing around in a puddle of shit.  You hate the smell, but you can appreciate the beauty of the beast.  MORE MOVIES LIKE The Sacrament: There are better films about cults out there, I’m sure I just can’t think of most of them.  It’s not horror, but how about the mysteriously atmospheric Sound of My Voice (2011)?  It was great!  And I’m no fan of Red State (2011), which is more on the brutal side, but it has no less to offer than this film.

A recent review (by our MoviesFilmsandFlix founder) rightly summarized this film as predictable and “middle of the pack” and something which veered far from the Ti West standard of atmospheric suspense.  While I totally agree with the first part of this criticism (not the atmosphere part), I feel there were things that West accomplished making this film worthwhile.  The Sacrament is a film that begins with good intentions, middles into an effective brainwashed atmosphere of a delusory paradise, but ends poorly.

Our story begins when a film crew (including A. J. Bowen of The Guest, You’re Next, Chillerama and Joe Swanberg of V/H/S, Cabin Fever 2) travels to another country (probably in South America) where a crew member’s sister (Amy Seimetz; You’re Next) has traveled with her commune to set their roots in Eden Parish and give up all their worldly belongings to the financial discretion of a man they call Father (Gene Jones; Oz the Great and Powerful).  Father, how about that?  That’s not shady at all, is it?  Father is a southern, mild-mannered, elderly fellow who feels like a mix of a tent evangelist-soul healer, a plantation owner, and someone you’d find on a park bench in Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil (1997) sipping a mint julep while walking an overly-groomed terrier.  The air about him wreaks of pleasantly-mannered manipulation and overtones of a semi-humble Messiah complex.  He seems, at times, to be simultaneously simple yet clearly quite methodical.

He comes out into the crowd like a humble rock star.

“Father is a southern, mild-mannered, elderly fellow who feels like a mix of a tent evangelist-soul healer, a plantation owner, and someone you’d find on a park bench in Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil (1997) sipping a mint julep while walking an overly-groomed terrier.”

He warms up the crowd with a lot of hand waving and applause like one of those electric guitar-toting ministers.

The film crew sets out to investigate the nature of Father’s paradise Eden Parish, and Father does a fine job manipulating his interviewer into joining his audience as he grandstands (in lieu of answering questions) about the villainy of their past materialistic lives of sin and their enlightened way of life and togetherness in which they now bask.  And the lord of the baskers, Father, is so pleased with himself as he presents his sermon–like a well-fed lizard warming its belly on a hot stone.  But as our crew meets more parishioners, there are a few red flags in paradise denoting that the peacekeeping and serenity may be managed more with fear and brainwashing than a happy sense of community.  All of this is executed very well and it crafts an unnerving atmosphere, even when they present the obvious mute girl who would undoubtedly reveal something later (i.e., a classic harbinger trope).  But this is where we lose sight and things falls apart for both Father and Ti West alike.

“Something’s just not right about these people.”

“Something’s just not right about the third act of this story!”

Eventually the shit hits the fan and, with it, so does all of the cult credibility that “the interview scene” had so strongly edified with a tone of unflagging fanatical mania.  I can’t help but to think that Father’s protective and paranoid nature wouldn’t have circumvented the invasive film crew’s motives and their effect on his proselytized followers.  Surely Father would have previously overcome other investigators, cult de-programmers, concerned family members and the like, and probably more savvy ones than we meet in this film who come unprepared to another continent in a wilderness seemingly devoid any law or rule outside of Father’s word.

To avoid dwelling on the particulars of the tragic ending, I’ll just say that by the middle of this film I was captivated by Father’s ability to deceive and distort and misguide, and by the end I was completely underwhelmed by a weakly executed massacre that came about with all of the preparation and build-up of someone randomly pulling a middle school fire alarm.  I was waiting for the grand revelation  behind Father’s cult…a demon of some sort, devil worship, human sacrifices (perhaps the invited film crew), possession, preparation for the apocalypse…?  There was none; no mystery at all to be found.  Very disappointing. VERY.

Directed by Ti West (The Innkeepers, House of the Devil, V/H/S, Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever) and produced by Eli Roth (Hostel, Green Inferno), The Sacrament is a found footage-style mixed bag based on (or, more accurately, strongly modeled after) the true story of a cult that relocated to Guyana and committed mass suicide, known as the Jonestown Massacre of 1978.  In the end, the only thing this film brought to the table was a great mid-movie performance by Gene Jones and a solid culty atmosphere.  And while these positive aspects do occupy about the middle 50% of the film, they alone don’t make this film recommendable to the general horror audience.  It was worth it to me, though.

MY CALL:  A cerebral house movie that bends time, genres, reality and expectations.  Venezuela’s #1 thriller of all time is truly a winner.  MOVIES LIKE The House at the End of Time:  I’ve seen my share of “house movies” and this one certainly stands out.  House Hunting (2013) and Silent House (2011) utilize effective means of disorienting viewers creating a sense of tension and unease.  Even Oculus (2014) serves as a house movie in the same manner despite its focus on an evil mirror.  House (2008), however, should be skipped altogether.  OTHER TITLE: La Casa del Fin de los Tiempos.

I recently had the pleasure of viewing this Venezuelan thriller when my girlfriend stumbled across it on Netflix.  Being adventurous about trying new horror movies completely unknown to us—a quality I absolutely adore about her–she did some research and it turns out that this movie was actually a pretty big deal in Venezuela.  Evidently it ranks as the highest grossing thriller (in Venezuela) of all time, selling 700,000 tickets during its 41 week run at the box office—which means that 1 out of every 42 people in the entire country saw this in theaters!  A horror movie!  That’s impressive.  That would be about a $60 million box office gross if 1 in 42 people in the United States saw a movie assuming an $8 ticket (which may be on the low side).  Not bad for first time writer, producer, editor and director Alejandro Hidalgo!

But even still, I somehow remained skeptical.  After all, Venezuela is a country one-tenth the size of the United States with about 30 million people and loads of tropical forests.  I questioned whether they’ve made enough thrillers (or movies in general) for me to be impressed with their “highest grossing thriller of all time.”  But, being adventurous myself, I submitted to my girlfriend’s desire to see this figuring “we can just watch something else if it’s no good.”  Let’s just say my expectations were very wrong…and hers were right.

Anyway, at its start I had low expectations.  But, I do like a good “house movie” and the disorienting devices that often accompany them like protean or even labyrinthine architecture and plays on time (flashbacks, haunting visions of the past, actual time lapses).  And a good house movie is exactly what we got!  However, this house movie is far from being cut from the typical mold.  This is neither scarefest nor gorefest.  This is something so much deeper, so much creepier, so much more cerebral.

The House at the End of Time opens on an ill-fated evening set 30 years in the past when Dulce is convicted of the murder of her husband and missing son.  Then we move to present day, after an elderly Dulce has served 30 years in prison and is returned to her home to serve the remainder of her life under house arrest.  Almost as quickly as she gets home and sits down, she is visited by a priest who tries to help her remember exactly what happened that night 30 years ago.

Opening scene 30 years ago (ABOVE); Dulce and the Priest (BELOW)

The pacing was not ideal, often alternating between long scenes of kids playing and intense scenes of marital disorder during the first half of the film.

We also alternate between scenes from the past and scenes from the present as elderly Dulce wanders her home and begins to remember more…some of which she never recalled even 30 years ago.  At times, she seems to be hallucinating her present day elderly self into these scenes from the past.  But are they hallucinations caused by the house, are they suppressed memories, perhaps they’re her own delusions…or is it all something else?  I even found myself questioning if we’d discover some manner of possession had occurred, or some other form of evil.  Is this house movie or a ghost story?  Is Dulce a ghost!?!?!  Is Dulce guilty or innocent of her family’s murder?  Is this house her own personal Hell where she relives visions of her past sins?  Why is this priest interested in helping her solve the mystery?  So many questions—it’s easy to get carried away.  I wanted answers and so did Dulce (and so did my girlfriend LOL), and none of us cared what it was—as long as we had “an answer.”

At one point young Dulce visits a medium.  The scene is creepy.

Now, please make no mistake and please distrust any reviewers who call this film “one of the most scary” movies of whatever.  There are a few effective jumpscare moments, but this movie is more about a steady atmosphere of fear, tension, anticipation and disorientation.  Writer/director Alejandro Hidalgo succeeded in creating a consistently creepy, engaging slow-burn that kept me watching the shadows for evil and thinking at the same time, trying to solve the time-based mystery therein.  Without spoiling anything, I’ll reveal that time is played upon much as it is in Oculus, such that we don’t really know what is the present and what is the past…or future…or are two times meeting one another somehow… or even…. you get the idea.

It’s also easy to discount movies of apparently low budget.  This film has the complicated story of a book, looks like someone filmed a play (with a huge set and special effects), and feels like a horror-drama-mystery telenovela.

During the third act of the film some things will make sense, others things maybe not so clearly.  Just be advised that this film will end up proving that it’s a lot more clever than you think it is.  Its story is elaborate to the point that I find no borrowed components from other stories.  No.  This story is unique and, much like its successor Oculus, it thrives on the audience’s fear of the unknown and things that may or may not be revealed.

This film was eerie, unpredictable, disorienting, and it pleasantly surprised me.  Even though it’s a Spanish language film subtitled in English, the pace is casual enough that reading along will not compromise you’re ability to immerse yourself in the story and its chilling atmosphere.

Don’t be intimidated by subtitles.  Don’t shy away from this foreign movie.  Please, do give this a chance.

This article is dedicated to my girlfriend.  She chose this splendid gem, she got me to stick with it and see it through, and she has stuck with me.  Love you, baby.

MY CALL:  A dark New Zealand horror comedy that just may be the hidden gem you’ve been looking for.  MORE MOVIES LIKE Housebound:  Dead Alive (1992), although more extreme in all aspects, captured dark New Zealand humor in a similar way.

First things first.  This has a cover/poster that makes it look like a home invader movie like The Strangers (2008), some descriptions and reviews that suggest it is a haunted house movie, and it is marketed as a horror comedy.  More accurate than anything is that this New Zealand horror flick is a comedy.  It smacks of Dead Alive (1992) if you were to turn the gore down from an “11” to a “2” and the utterly zany insanity is much lower as well.

I mean, yes, there is gore.  It’s just that it pales in comparison to Dead-Alive.

While advertised as a horror comedy, the first half of this movie will not make that obvious.  I found a lot of things funny, but they didn’t seem deliberate in the sense of filming a comedy.  It just seemed to be the interesting nature of the characters.  However, as the story advanced, so did the obvious intent of the humor therein.  And as for the horror, you may jump but this movie is not scary and only playfully creepy.

More than just “playfully creepy” was this Teddy Bear.

The pissy antihero of the story is recently convicted Kylie (Morgana O’Reilly), who is placed under house arrest with her mother and stepfather after she gets caught doing a smash-and-grab job.  More like an angry, petulant teenager than a woman in her 20s, Kylie resists her mother’s every attempt to be pleasant, civil, constructive, or generally happy.  It seems that Kylie is doing everything she can to make her parents’ lives as miserable as hers.  It’s funny to watch this unfold and well-acted, but it’s a little frustrating as well.  We really don’t find ourselves rooting for Kylie at this point.

I’m just gonna’ sit here and sulk.

Kylie’s mother (Rima Te Wiata), however, is absolutely delightful.  She’s overly pleasant, loves small talk-loving, a bit naïve, and she believes that her house is haunted.  All of these things annoy the grumpy Kylie, who is especially antagonistic to her mother’s belief in their ghostly houseguests.  Kylie experiences “an encounter” in the basement when investigating a rogue ringing cell phone and insists there is a home invader.  Kylie’s mother has other ideas of the nature of this intruder and she’s really cute about her opinion on the matter.

“What was that sound, mum?”

“Probably a ghost, Kylie.”

“Shhhhh! I’m trying to hear the ghosts.”

There to back Kylie’s mother up is Amos (Glen-Paul Waru), a security guard who monitors Kylie’s house arrest and responds to their call about the recent disturbance.  When he finds no sign of a break-in or intruder, he suggests the presence of an other-worldly form.  Like Kylie’s mother, Amos brings us more comic relief but in a more straight-faced role as an amateur paranormal investigator.  He sets up the house with cameras a la Paranormal Activity but don’t worry, the movie does not follow that over-used playbook at all.  It takes its own path devoid of found footage, shaky cameras and video analysis.

[CLOCKWISE from top left] Amos goes all Ghost Hunters on the house; an evil Teddy Bear scares Kylie but no one wants to believe her, she tells the police about her disturbances and they just call her probation officer, and her mother “always knew” about the ghosts so Kylie snarls at her a lot.

From here things take a few interesting turns leaving us wondering about the nature of Kylie’s encounter in the basement and several other “weird sounds” in the house.  We learn about the disturbing history of the house and murders that took place there when it served as a halfway house for mentally unstable youths.  We meet an extremely creepy neighbor.  Kylie meets with a therapist (Cameron Rhodes; The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring) who suggests that her overly active mind in her inactive house arrest setting may be playing tricks on her.  And with all this piled up on us, people start dying and Kylie becomes a believer in the paranormal.  I should warn, however, that one major plot turn rather reduced my interest significantly.  It did remain funny, though…even funnier, in fact.

“What’s the creepy neighbor doing?  Creepy things?”

Amos finds some old articles about Kylie’s mum’s house.

The “intruder” makes an appearance.

And then we meet this weirdo who looks like a raccoon.

Writer/director Gerard Johnstone does a fine job with his first feature length film and I am eager to see what he does next.  After all, perhaps the things I didn’t like about the third act were more a product of taste than quality.

The characters are interesting, fun and quirky…and perfectly acted for this film.  The story doesn’t go anywhere we expect.  And I laughed a lot among a few unexpected jumps.  Part of me wants to call this a gem but I just wasn’t pleased with where the story went in the third act.  It got weird in an unexciting way for me (and my company watching it), even though it was a sort of original story element and the humor certainly accelerated for the better.

I’d say you should see this if you enjoy off-color horror comedy.  This was just a semi-precious stone for me, but for you it may be just the hidden gem you’ve been wanting.

Let’s talk about misleading movie posters, shall we? Misleading movie poster #1: Movie is called Mine Games.  The poster has a picture of a cabin in the woods.  REALLY?

MY CALL:  This B-movie makes an effort, but the director really never transcends its B-moviedom.  The best quality of this movie is the unreached potential of its premise.  MORE MOVIES LIKE Mine Games:  Some reviewers compare this to a movie called Coherence (2013), but I don’t know it.

Misleading movie poster #2: Here you’d think the theme of the movie was as much linked to Spring Break as a mine.

This flick feels so much like the Friday the 13^th (2009) reboot for the first 20 minutes.  Not only because modern day Scream Queen Julianna Guill (The Apparition, Altitude) is in it–and playing pretty much the same exact role–but because of the nice log cabin McMansion in the woods they go to for a 20-something vacation.  Our 20-somthing group includes the classic Cabin in the Woods (2012) roles of the athlete, the scholar, the fool (stoner), the virgin (in this case, she’s a self-proclaimed spiritually sensitive medium; Rebecca Da Costa of Freerunner), the whore (Guill’s role), and one extra female role in which fellow modern day Scream Queen Briana Evigan (The Devil’s Carnival, Mother’s Day, Sorority Row) plays the straight, serious, concerned girlfriend of a guy who needs to “take his meds” for something that is never explained…making him something of a wild card role.

Misleading movie poster #3:  Is there a tunnel from the cabin to the mine?  And “are you ready to play” what exactly?  Is this a play on the Jigsaw’s tagline? There’s no “game” to play in this movie.  Although the clever similarity to “Mind Games” in this semi-trippy movie obviously explains a lot.

This group is deep in the mountainous woods for a little vacation and partying in a remote location.  In the early scenes they drink (some doing so all the time), try to sleep with one another, do drugs, and discover an abandoned mine.  This cookie-cutter set up plus two scream queens, along with the fact that we had a sex scene in the first 15 minutes signal us that we are not in for anything deep, original, or intellectually stimulating.  This should be a typical, formulaic VideoOnDemand/Direct-to-DVD horror-by-numbers, right?  Actually…not quite.

Yup…this totally looks like a scene from a horror movie that is to be taken seriously.  Two girls known for their roles in horror movies (and taking off their clothes in one case) sitting around in bikinis drinking beer from Solo cups.  This director clearly had his game face on. SMH

Yes, this movie started out like the Playboy channel was hosting a Coors Light commercial, but we get hints that this will turn out to be something more.  Our medicated character has dreams that take place in an abandoned mine shaft, our medium sees “spirits” and the characters venture into the mines to encounter echoes from the future about their fate.  Seems like our story is trying to break out of the cookie-cutter mold.

Bro #1: “Hey look, an abandoned mine.” Bro #2: “Let’s go in. I’m sure it’s totally up to safety standards of the MSHA (Mine Safety and Health Administration).” Bro #1: “Cool. What could go wrong?”

“This is the first time”…for what?  This is an example of something that “tries”, then doesn’t get properly executed during the reveal, so it just fizzles out and falls on its face. Good idea; poor execution.

This twisty-turny plot clearly tries and, in premise alone, maybe there was something there—something that could have been good.  However, the execution left me desperately wanting something more substantial.  It’ll make you think and become hopeful after you lumber through the first act.  I just doubt that the thinking will lead you to a satisfying outcome.  What’s more is where the execution of this would-be decent premise has failed, the special effects and acting take no part in remedying such malady.  The characters make dumb decisions that hardly make sense and even though the story leaves nothing to the imagination, the end still doesn’t necessarily fit the story. I have no idea why—and I couldn’t be troubled to look up the reason—but I knew about this movie for a couple years yet was only able to find it on Netflix and Amazon recently.  It’s listed as a 2012 movie, but I don’t know who (of the generally movie-going public) saw it before this year.  I guess it’s nothing important enough to discuss, though.  Just another horror movie unworthy of a theatrical release at the end of the day.  It probably had difficulty picking up support somewhere along the process line leading to its release.  The same seems to be happening to 7500 (2014, but I knew about it already in 2012 and was looking for it then), which has still not been released in the US but, from what I hear, we’re not missing out on much despite the provocative trailer. When all is said and done, I’d advise skipping this one.  You might find some positive reviews, but the reviews are all over the place (evenly distributed from 1 to 5 stars on Amazon).  The best quality of this movie is the unreached potential of its premise.

There are great horror films (e.g., Saw, The Conjuring), there are typically color-by-numbers trope-rich sequels (e.g., A Nightmare on Elm Street franchise) and there are zany, gory, low budget direct-to-video releases (e.g., Puppet Master and almost everything by Full Moon Entertainment).  Generally we see maybe one or two greats, several enjoyable trope-rich flicks, and countless DTV releases in any given year.  We recently did some articles on more recent “best moments” in horror: 15 Images for 15 Years of Horror: Part 1: some of the greatest, goriest, most shocking and most memorably defining moments in horror since 2000 and 15 Images for 15 Years of Horror: Part 2: The Good, the Bad and the Hilarious.

The year of 1995, however, was a year in which the horror well ran dry.  There were almost no sequels to please fans of proven franchises, few DTV releases worth mentioning, and the best movie referenced in this article (Species) has been borrowed from Sci-Fi and is included on the basis of the gore.  But, in honor of our “1995 Year in Review Week” we turn back the clock 20 years to reflect on the more memorable moments that 1995’s horror had to offer.  So here are 10 moments from 10 movies, in no particular order…

Species (1995) managed to present two things terrifying to men.  A woman’s coming of age is gruesomely depicted in the cocoon/chrysalis scene and, of course, Sil (Natasha Henstridge) pulls a praying mantis and kills men after sex…after transforming into a no-longer-sexy mix of a tentacle monster and H. R. Giger’s Alien!  Natasha Henstridge even got breast implants for this role and talked about it in interviews.  Truth be told, Species was basically a high budget sexploitation movie masquerading as a sci-fi special effects thrill ride.

The Prophecy (1995) made the ultimate badass fallen angel out of Christopher Walken.  “Shhhh.”  That’s all I have to say.  If you don’t know what I’m talking about, go see this movie.  The film was original and it hasn’t been ripped off (that I’ve noticed) in 20 years.

Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh (1995) made bees REALLY creepy.  Case 39 (2009) did a good job with the unnerving yellowjacket/hornet scene when Bradley Cooper bites it.  But Candyman was haunting…bees in mouths…bees on flesh-stripped ribcages.  Just gross!  LOL

Village of the Damned (1995) proved that between 1960 and 1995 very little had changed…we still found that blond kids that don’t smile are creepy as Hell!

Tales from the Crypt presents Demon Knight (1995) and a most charming Billy Zane.  He seemed so persuasive, didn’t he?  Now imagine how Titanic and Demon Knight would have turned out differently if these two movies swapped Billy Zane personalities.

Lord of Illusions (1995) and the sword trick.  When that trick started to go wrong, I started reeling!  A great scene from a little known horror that saw a theatrical release, but then got forgotten by most as if it was a Full Moon direct-to-video release.  This flick was, in fact, worth it!

Tales from the Hood (1995) takes Blaxploitation too far and gets a bit racist.  Just look at this doll!

Vampire in Brooklyn (1995) is basically Boomerang (1992) made into a horror comedy.  Just compare the movie posters…same face, woman in similar pose, hovering over the city.

Ice Cream Man (1995)…because Clint Howard!  That’s why!  He actually won an MTV Lifetime Achievement Award in 1998.

The Granny (1995)…the most ridiculous horror release of 1995 next to Ice Cream Man.  I’m not saying you “should” see this…but it’s really….something. LOL

MY CALL:  A solid premise and great atmosphere that fails to deliver an effective possession movie.  Despite some good performances and a decent ending, we are not completely reimbursed for the disappointing shift from an engaging, tense film to a nigh-dull, predictable experience.  MORE MOVIES LIKE The Damned:  Stronger Spanish-language films whose atmosphere’s actually deliver on their promises include The Orphanage (2007), [REC] (2007), Pan’s Labyrinth (2006) and The House at the End of Time (2013).

Also released under the title Gallow’s Hill and Encerrada, this Colombian film boasts a humble $5 million budget and uses it wisely.  It is also Colombia’s highest grossing film with 395,380 tickets sold (in Colombia) of the year…not horror film, but “film.”  Having seen this, I’ll say it doesn’t live up to that statement.  I mean, sure.  I guess I’m not surprised it was Colombia’s highest grossing horror film, but I’m a bit surprised it was their highest grossing film in general for the year.  Then again, this is perhaps the first Colombian movie I’ve ever reviewed.  So what do I know about their country’s film industry?

Reporter Gina (Carolina Guerra; Da Vinci’s Demons), her cameraman, a young girl, her father (Peter Facinelli; the Twilight Saga, Hollow Man 2) and soon-to-be stepmother (Sophia Myles; Outlander, Underworld: Evolution) find themselves stranded in the flash flooding mountains of Colombia and seek refuge in an old man’s house in the middle of nowhere.

This premise already screams cookie-cutter plot, right?  Lost, car breaks down, people are stranded, they find an old house with a creepy host who offers them help but has no telephone and he doesn’t speak much…yeah, it does.  But you know what?  For what it is, it works.  After we meet the characters, find them stranded and see them to their creepy remote locale, this film captures a creepy atmosphere from the get-go.

“Hey, that old guy asked us not to leave this room. What should we do while he gets us a glass of water?”

“Where did they go?  Um….to look for a bathroom.”

Their remote location host is an old man who isn’t so happy to have guests.  He lets them in to take cover from the rain but explains that he has no means of communicating with the outside world and he doesn’t even want them to leave the living room.  Of course, the old man’s guests find an excuse to explore the house at the earliest opportunity and they stumble across a locked cell in the basement incarcerating a young girl.  They release her and, in doing so, release “the damned” upon the house.  From here, this becomes a possession movie which declares a witch’s curse to be the problem, but it feels a lot more like Evil Dead (1981, 1987, 2013) revisited using the Fallen (1998) playbook.

What worked?  Carolina Guerra gives the best, twisted performance as a possessed deadite and, until the possession premise was obvious, the atmosphere was powerful and eerie. Spanish director Víctor García (Mirrors 2, Return to the House on Haunted Hill) knows what creeps us out.  The special effects were limited and practical, but one scene involving a neck break and its aftermath (and the actor’s performance around it) was REALLY IMPRESSIVE.  Also, although predictable, I liked the (hardly-a-twist) ending.  It shined with a “horrific” sort of poetic justice.

 The evil spirit of the witch exploits our secrets and sins much as the devil would.

 Then she contorts and spasms and goes all Evil Dead.

What didn’t work?  Once you know the premise, things become overly predictable and the atmosphere loses its luster.  I essentially found myself waiting for the witch’s spirit to finish her game of musical chairs as she possesses her way through the cast of protagonists.  It simply degenerated from engaging and tense, to almost dull.

I’m not alone in my opinion of this film—i.e., not being terribly impressed.  Out of almost 3000 ratings it averages only 5.2/10 on IMDB, the NY Daily News gave 2/5 stars and explained “strong performance doesn’t scare off moviegoers in this serviceable, but gruesome, horror flick,” and Rotten Tomatoes reveals an unprovocative rating of 11% (20% audience).  Of all places, Amazon has the highest ratings at 3.3/5 stars.

The ambience, Carolina Guerra, and the ending might make this film worth a watch for the horror fan who likes to see as much as they can.  Just don’t expect anything original or to be wowed.

Other Halves features Mercedes Manning (Strictly Sexual, Zipper) and Lauren Lakis (Hybrids, Gun Woman) as the developers of a revolutionary new dating app called Other Halves. On the night before the app is set to launch, they discover it causes strange side effects: users lose all self-control, becoming amoral, lascivious, violent…and evil. They consider shutting the app down, but…EVIL IS PROFITABLE.

Other Halves, from One Oh One Radio Pictures, is the feature film debut for director and co-writer Matthew T. Price, and co-writer Kelly Morr. The film is produced by Curt Chatham, and also stars Lianna Liew (Truth Or Dare), Megan Hui (The Before Time), Melanie Friedrich (Positive: Some Doors Should Remain Closed), Sam Schweikert (Hart of Dixie), and Carson Nicely (The Conan O’Brien Show).

The first teaser video features Jasmine (Mercedes Manning) recording a pitch video for the Other Halves dating app.  Right away I felt like Manning captured a very candid, very real character.  The acting seems good.   The very honest budget is clearly low, but that doesn’t hinder our ability to see that there is something strange going on with this app…as if the app itself was possessed.  Here’s the first teaser:

In the next teaser video (below) we see a commercial for the Other Halves app featuring Devon (Lauren Lakis).  During her presentation, again, something sort of goes wrong with the app and it seems that another world with another version of her character is being tapped…a more evil and seductive version.  Here’s the second teaser:

I’m curious to see this film and I’m not scared by the low budget.  As long as filmmakers don’t try to do that which cannot be done effects-wise with their budget, things tend to go fine for good directors working on good scripts with capable actors.

This one looks like it has the potential to get pretty raunchy.  That doesn’t mean it can’t be good, though.  I’ll certainly give it a chance when it comes out.  I hope you will, too.

You can follow the production on their website, www.OtherHalv.es. You can also follow the film on Facebook, Twitter (@OtherHalvesFilm), and Instagram (@OtherHalvesFilm).

MY CALL:  Entrancing and unsettling, this gritty timeless film serves as a powerful cautionary metaphor to the consequences of unprotected sex.  Beautifully executed and a unique experience; quite an unusual combination in the horror genre. 

This film felt like so many familiar things, yet like nothing else.  The presence of a Kindle (or something sort of like that) indicates that the story takes place now—or close to present day.  Yet the use of corded phones and minimal presence of cell phones creates a sense of media isolation, much like pre-2000 horror, and the overall feeling reminds me more of an 80s horror setting.  Adding to this isolated 80s sensation, the entire film is scored with synthesizers.  This scoring is of much higher quality than an 80s film, and the style sets an ominous tone that readily resets our uneasiness as we watch.

And what is it we’re watching for?  After an intimate encounter, a young girl (Maika Monroe; The Guest) is told by her newly ex-boyfriend that “something” will follow her from now on; that this something once followed him but he has now “given it” to her.  This something has no specific form or identity and may appear as anyone, from a random unknown person to someone you love.  The only certainty is that, where ever you are, “it” will be somewhere walking directly towards you…until it takes you, or you give it to someone else.  “It” becomes a palpable nightmare.

And that brings us to the most important thing of all:  this movie is scary?  You may not leap out of your seat or scream, but you will be scared.  This film propagates more of a continuous, quiet sense of dread.  As with White Noise (2005), Shadow People (2012) and Paranormal Activity (2007) we find our eyes locked on the screen, looking for the “it” that “follows.”  Suddenly every person in the background becomes a candidate and every time a door opens we wonder if “it” will pass the threshold.  Typically we watch a screen and may jump at the appearance of a killer before his victim.  Here, we watch more in the same manner as the victim.  I really felt like I was in the movie for many of the scenes.

Is that displaced person the “it” that “follows,” or just a red herring to keep us on our toes?  You’ll find you’re on your toes a lot while watching this film.

There was one scene towards the end that I didn’t like.  It was a long and major scene, but still just the one turned me off.  You’ll know it when you get to the indoor pool scene.  It felt like it belonged in a different movie of lower caliber.

The pool scene, if viewed alone, smacks of a typical (but watchable) direct-to-DVD horror movie of moderate production.  It just didn’t “fit” the film well in my opinion.

Director/writer David Robert Mitchell is brand new to the business, but I expect he’ll become a household name to horror fans.  As far as I can tell, It Follows serves as something of a cautionary metaphor representing the risks of unsafe or premarital sex and being “followed” by the consequences, even the sense of dread that may haunt one while waiting to receive the results of an HIV test (or any STD test).  This metaphor, however, really pushes the envelope and the realness and likability of the young cast veils this nightmare with urgency.  There is one particularly intense scene in which “it” takes the form of a teen victim’s mother, and the way it “takes” you when it finds you is quite a disturbing image that was burned into my mind.  This film was unsettling and gritty, for sure—and it does it without a menacing killer with a name and a scary past.  It does it with a nameless, protean entity; an unnerving breath of fresh air.

Even my horror-desensitized mind was on edge as I watched this masterfully crafted horror.  This truly unique and beautifully executed film pleased me overall.  It felt like a classic horror from the late 70s or early 80s with a modern production treatment.

Ignore the sexual theme, understand that there is nothing raunchy or gratuitous to be seen, and enjoy sense of unmatched isolated dread of It Follows.

Horror is a genre rich in recycled concepts, cookie-cutter plots and trope-y character archetypes.  But if you wind things back to the classics, there was a time when horror was doing things for the first time.  Well, maybe not the first time…but before it was common on film or in horror.  Here are a few interesting examples of how horror reached out to our romantic lives long before most of us we were even born.  I give you my favorite “awkward moments” of classic horror…

That awkward moment when you realize that…The Mummy (1931) was totally creeping on the wrong chick.

You know the old Cinderella story.  No one would call that slipper-toting Cinderella Prince a stalker for seeking that girl he had met the night of the ball–after all, women tend to leave things behind when they want to see you again.  They leave keys or their phone–anything to get back through the door, right?  But what happens when you think you see your old high school girlfriend or an old flame, you become overtaken with “that old feeling” and stalk her, and it turns out it’s just someone who looks like her…thousands of years later.  Classic mix-up, right?

Well, that’s what happens to the Mummy.  Imhotep spends the movie looking for his lost love, thinks he finds her, then stalks this woman that he believes is his reincarnated love.  I guess it’s not that weird, though.  There are plenty of people in California hoeing their victory gardens and praying to vision boards with power crystals who eat up that “we were lovers in another life” crap.

Imhotep pointing at the picture: “See, that’s her.  I know it.”
The other guy: “Ummmm, bro?  I’m pretty sure your girl died in 5000 BC.  We have electricity now, you know?  Did you try calling her?”

This sort of problem could only happen today through Facebook or other social media.  You know, you’ve been flirting for a while and exchanging pictures, but she won’t Skype with you.  Before you know it you’re in the middle of some Catfishing situation.

That awkward moment when you realize that…Dracula (1931) was horror’s first “in the closet” homosexual.

I know what you’re thinking…but hold on and just listen.  I have lots of evidence supporting this notion.

Exhibit A: He has a special bed and a set bedtime every day.  Now, he could just be OCD and not necessarily gay.  But ever notice how he sleeps in the same position every night in a box that keeps him from tossing and turning while he’s fully clothed?  Yup.  He doesn’t want his pale powdery make-up to smudge or his clothes to wrinkle.  That way he can look fabulous first thing, even when Van Helsing unexpectedly wakes him up with a stake and hammer!

I guess this will have to do until your pre-ordered Sleep Number Bed arrives.  I hope it offers could lower back support so that you can recover from your Zumba classes.

Exhibit B: He definitely favors soft lighting.  Why?  It’s just more flattering, ya’ big silly.  And besides, getting tan in the sun just leads to wrinkles.

Exhibit C: He wears black.  Why?  It’s so slimming, isn’t it?  He also likes jewelry.  I’m reminded of the adorable Nathan Lane from The Birdcage (1996).  He was just a bottle of joy and sunshine in his rings and his summer hat at the local farmer’s market.

And, bro?  What’s with the jazz hands?  Again…think Nathan Lane.  Nathan Lane in The Birdcage was the most endearing character I think I’ve ever seen.  Of course, he had a much greater mastery of hand movements than Dracula.  But hey, Dracula pretty much invented the notion of flagrant hand movements while walking.

Exhibit D: He understands that he should never touch a woman’s hair without permission.

“It’s…so healthy. What conditioner do you use?”

Exhibit E: He dresses immaculately and lives alone in a castle of antiquity.  It was probably his mom’s house.  Granted he needs to clean, but maybe he was just keeping the house as mother left it.

That’s a candle, not a “mandle.”  I don’t care if it is scented like mahogany and leatherbound books.  And what’s with the hands this time?  Are those “spirit fingers?”

That awkward moment when you realize that…Bride of Frankenstein (1935) was the first blind date.

“Eeeeek.  How old are your EHarmony profile pics, bub?”

Arranged marriages have existed for thousands of years in innumerable cultures.  But these marriages are brokered by land-owning fathers, monarchs, lords, tribal chiefs and the like to create financial and political bonds through merging bloodlines.  None of that seems to be the case here.  So now I must ask you…when Frankenstein’s monster met his freshly re-animated bride, was it the first ever BLIND DATE?  Good question, right?  But, based on his bride’s face I’m guessing it wasn’t love at first sight for her.

If Frankenstein’s monster had a Match.com profile, what would his handle and tagline be?  “Newly re-invented man of few words seeks rigid-limbed bride.  Hobbies include frightening villagers. Pet peeves: fire and pitch forks.”

Anyway, Frankie is really the perfect man for the first blind date since he’s more than he appears to be.  He’s very gentle, despite being so big–and sensitive, too.  I mean, the guy is terrified of fire.  Ladies, listen to me.  He’ll treat you right and make you feel safe.

That awkward moment when you realize that…The Wolf Man (1941) was basically the first guy with a sexually transmitted disease in a movie.

Thank God Facebook didn’t exist yet.  Otherwise he’d be using buddy Frankenstein’s account to FB stalk his girl (since, I’m sure, she blocked him).  Instead, this fool is just wandering around the forest.

It was a modern time in 1934 America (the setting of the story).  The first generation of working women to have the right to vote were just reaching the age at which they’d seek a suitor to wed.  But with modern times come modern problems….like The Wolf Man.  He comes back to his hometown, meets a nice girl, gets “infected” by something one evening while he’s in the company of another girl (who hasn’t heard that story before?), then ravenously he stalks his love interest in the middle of the night with his symptoms FLARING!  So, basically The Wolf Man is like the first guy to get an STD.

You know, Lon Chaney (The Wolf Man) went about this all wrong.  Hear me out on this one, okay?  So, he gets infected with Lycanthropy and there are no quick and easy ways to get tested like a Family Planning Clinic or anything.  But a little manscaping could go a long way.  Maybe if he had made that effort, she would have patiently waited for him to seek out the appropriate medical (or magical) treatment.  But no.  I was a typical bro.  He got embarrassed and then got angry and he stalked her.  If you ask me, he got what he had coming.

But, in his defense, manscaping would not have been well-received back then.  The metrosexual male didn’t exist in that generation.  But, seriously, Wolfie…maybe write her a letter or something.

That awkward moment when you realize that…The Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954) was the first truly campy horror movie.

This movie is the reason “monster rape” became so prevalent in cheap, campy horror.  Okay, let’s just clear the air.  Dracula and the Wolf Man have done their share of stalking.  All classic horror involves some level of “stalking” of some woman by the monster, but in Creature the sole reason behind the plot seems to be carnal.

Creature is the first true stalker.  In the story, some people are on a biological expedition (along with a beautiful lady) and the subject of their trip (the ichthyoid man) catches a glimpse of a fair lady.  Curious, fixated, obsessed, and unable to explain “these strange feelings”; the creature proceeds to follow the expedition down the Amazon, killing the men off one by one, and eventually abducting the woman and taking her to his lair.

I don’t think she’d be thrilled about this, bub.  I also doubt that she “feels the connection between you two.”

Yup.  Just a creeper.  No means no, bro!

So this concludes “that awkward moment” in classic horror.  Stay tuned for future installments…

Proudly sponsored by the audiobook company Audible, your new MFF podcast episode is here!

We hope you enjoyed our previous episode on The Best Worst Movie Monsters and Horror Villains!

This week the MFF crew discuss the best Cinematic Weightlifting, Sean Bean and the best horror moments of the last 15 years.

We answer such important questions as…

“Can Mark do an impression of Eddie Redmayne doing an impression of Bane?”
“Who can curl more?  Ron Burgandy or Jason Voorhees?”
“What was Sean Bean’s best role in which he DIDN’T die?”
“Just how far can horror go and still only be rated PG?”
“Who would win in a fight between The Ring‘s Samara and the Oculus mirror?”

This week’s podcast is based on the following MFF reviews and articles:

Pain and Gain (2013)
15 Images for 15 Years of Horror: Part 1: some of the greatest, goriest, most shocking and most memorably defining moments in horror since 2000
15 Images for 15 Years of Horror: Part 2: The Good, the Bad and the Hilarious
Grabbers
Byzantium (2012)
Deliver Us From Evil by Mark
Deliver Us From Evil (2014) by John
The Taking of Deborah Logan (2014)
Oculus (2014)
The Conjuring (2013)
The Cabin in the Woods (2012)
Final Destination 5 (2011)
Grave Encounters (2011)
Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010)
Drag Me to Hell (2009)
Martyrs (2008)
Hatchet (2006)
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
Ginger Snaps (2000)

Sit back, relax and learn about everything you missed.
If you haven’t seen some of these movies, be comforted that we will geekily inform you as to why you should watch them.

You can stream the pod at the Sharkdropper website, listen to us on with your mobile app OneCast, or download the pod on Itunes.
If you get a chance please REVIEW, RATE and SHARE the pod!

MY CALL:  This minimalist, quietly scary adult fable melds the Billy Goats Gruff with a hauntingly melancholy atmosphere.  The budget is low, but the film does not rely on effects as characters and eeriness drive this movie.  I was very pleased with it, but it’s not for those looking for something exciting, gory or shocking.  It is slow-paced and tense.  MOVIES LIKE Absentia:  Want other truly creepy films instead of “loud scare” horror?  Try It Follows (2015), Session 9 (2001) and Oculus (2014).

I must say, this film surprised me in more ways than one–neat story, good characters, very creepy, nice camera work.  I skipped this film for years following its release labeling it “just another straight-to-DVD horror” that I’d “get around to” when I had time.  I kept delaying.  After all, if you look at the DVD cover art you wouldn’t think there was anything original behind that woman being dragged into the darkness.  In the last couple years, however, I’ve been noticing mounting positive reviews of the film.  So I finally caved in and decided to give it a shot when I saw it on Netflix.

At its start I feared my original concerns would come true.  I recognized none of the actors and I could tell it had a low budget (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing).  I just figured this would turn out to be some haunting story brought upon by some past misdeed of the main character, a pregnant woman whose husband has been missing for 7 years.  But this was nothing of the sort.

The story begins very simply: Callie moves in with her sister Tricia when Tricia is forced to sign papers declaring her husband (who has been missing for 7 years) “dead in absentia.”  However, instead of finding closure, Tricia’s inner conflict continues as she is apparently haunted by her husband’s tormented spirit.

The scares and imagery are rattling and the atmosphere is powerfully off-putting.  But rather than being “loud” and scary, it’s quiet and eerie—think Session 9 (2001) and you’ll know what I mean.  Not so surprising, I guess, after learning this was written and directed by Mike Flanagan, who later went on to helm Oculus (2014; which cameos the actors of this film).

Creepy shots, creepy sounds, none of it loud. Just pure creepiness.

Character-driven and nightmarish, our story advances as Callie begins to link several recent disappearances spanning 100 years (and that of Tricia’s husband) to a nearby tunnel.  The film includes scenes with the book “Three Billy Goats Gruff” and serves as an adult version of the fable.  That said, this isn’t a monster movie, or a haunting story…yet it feels like both.

Doug Jones makes a cameo.

And like a terrifying fable, we find no solid reason behind the disappearances at the end, only evidence of a cause, making this feel satisfyingly mysterious yet many will feel at least partially annoyed by the lack of explanation.  But isn’t that where most horror falls apart?  When things are explained, or over-explained, or we try to rationalize a supernatural story with rules…?  Maybe it’s for the better that it ends this way.  Not all horror is meant to be explained.  Sometimes, just sometimes, that’s what makes it scary.