MY CALL: Wonky killer toys, campy tactics, cheesy effects and an insane homicidal toymaker? This is the very nuts and bolts of a solid Bad Movie Tuesday. MOVIES LIKE Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: Probably Dolls (1987) or Demonic Toys (1992).
CHRISTMAS HORROR MOVIES: For more holiday horror, check out Black Friday (2021), Black Christmas (1974, 2006 remake, 2019 reimagining), Await Further Instructions (2018), Holidays (2016; Christmas), Better Watch Out (2016), A Christmas Horror Story (2015), Krampus (2015), Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010), Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation (1990; hardly Christmasy), Elves (1989), Tales from the Crypt Season 1 (1989; And All Through the House), Christmas Evil (1980), Silent Night Deadly Night (1984), Gremlins (1984), and Tales from the Crypt (1972; And All Through the House). I might skip Don’t Open Till Christmas (1984), The Oracle (1985), Silent Night Deadly Night part 2 (1987), Silent Night Deadly Night part 3: Better Watch Out (1989), and maybe even All the Creatures Were Stirring (2018).
This franchise has taken some interesting turns. Sure, we began with a proper psycho killer Christmas horror movie followed by the cheapest of throwaway sequel treatments in SNDN 2. But then we wandered into an ultra-basic Frankensteinian Michael Myers stalker movie in SNDN 3, and SNDN 4 feels like someone rewrote a witch movie to take place during Christmas for the sake of profiting on the recognized namesake. It seems that for SNDN 3-4, a bunch of weird crap just happens to occur around Christmas time (like Lethal Weapon 1987) instead of a proper Christmas movie (e.g., Die Hard 1988). But fret not, SNDN 5 is, at the very least, a Christmas horror movie! Even if it, like SNDN 3-4, has nothing to do with the source material.
One strange Christmas Season, young Derek (William Thorne; Demonic Toys) watches as a toy from a mysteriously delivered present murders his father (Van Quattro). Now mute since witnessing this tragedy, his mother Sarah (Jane Higginson; General Hospital, Slaughterhouse) is doing her best to have a normal Christmas for me. Their local, elderly toy store owner Joe Petto (Mickey Rooney; The Intruder, The Thirsting) and his son (Brian Bremer; Pumpkinhead, Dead Birds, Society) are behind the toy-related death, and more deaths to come. It doesn’t get explained, but these toys seem to be robotic intelligent.
Cheap, grotesque effects bring a smile to my face as an evil toy called Larry the Larva crawls through a victim’s mouth and eye socket. Very cheesy, hokey fun. I’m also left to wonder if this invertebrate monster is meant to be a tie-in to the gross giant larvae from SNDN 3. Additional off-kilter callbacks include a seasonal mall Santa Claus named Ricky (Clint Howard; Silent Night Deadly Night 4, Ticks, Ice Cream Man, Evilspeak, Leprechaun 2, Lords of Salem), though clearly not the same character despite being the same character name and actor; and Sarah’s neighbor Kim (Neith Hunter; Carnosaur 2, Silent Night Deadly Night 4), again the same character name and actor, but clearly not the same character.
Many of the corrupted toy deaths are weak. The rollerblades scene was lame was even worse than Derek’s dad’s death. Larry the Larva is the only death scene with a cool-looking toy. But then there’s the sex scene toy massacre, which is ultra-campy with extra cheese. This marks a real turning point in the horror action, effects and entertainment value in this movie.
I keep waiting for the third act revelation that Kim and Ricky are the very same Kim and Ricky from SNDN 3, a newly initiated witch and a mentally disturbed witch’s son. But no such satisfaction is to be found. But at least we wander into some very odd territory involving intelligent robots and highly perverse daddy and mommy issues.
As it turns out, this might be my favorite of the SNDN franchise. It’s not great, by any means. But this is the most worthy “bad movie” from the series (just above SNDN 3). Finally, a SNDN that’s so bad it’s good. Merry Christmas to everyone!