MY CALL: Another “classic” not worthy of the term. Crappy death scenes, nearly goreless, yet surprisingly impressive overall production value. Go figure. MORE MOVIES LIKE The House on Sorority Row: For more sorority horror, try Black Christmas (1974), The Initiation (1984), Black Christmas (2006) and Happy Death Day (2017). However, I’d skip the remake Sorority Row (2009).
Excited to move on to the next step in their lives, high society sorority girls Katherine (Kate McNeil; Monkey Shines), Morgan, Diane (Harley Jane Kozak; Arachnophobia), Vicki (Eileen Davidson; The Last Sharknado), Liz, Jeanie and Stevie are planning their graduation party. But when their crotchety House mother Slater won’t allow the celebration, the girls take matters into their own hands with a good old-fashioned sorority prank. Only, no surprise, the prank is taken way too far and goes horribly wrong… killing Slater!
But the party must go on, right? So the girls hide Slater’s body and go about their celebrations only to be picked off one by one by a killer. But wait! Who could the killer be?
I must come clean. I didn’t expect much from this movie—I expected exploitative 80s slasher garbage (like Unhinged). Yet much to my surprise, the score, editing and production value all greatly exceed my expectations. Just in the first five minutes it’s quite evident how much care went into the filmmaking. That said, for all the care that went into this, very little such care is attended to the death scenes. The kills are incredibly basic and, with little exception, largely off-screen… making for a big disappointment in the horror department. Dare I contest a ‘classic’, but the third act revelation isn’t as exciting as you’d hope either.
Writer/director Mark Rosman (Mutant, The Invader) does what he can to garner some cheap thrills (i.e., nudity, sex scene) and create a great horror movie framework. But he doesn’t seem to be trying all that hard to elicit scares. Sigh.
Despite noticeable efforts, this movie failed in the most important component: the horror. It’s perfectly watchable, but not something I’d recommend. Moreover, I wouldn’t recommend the reimagining/remake Sorority Row (2009), which is thankfully better in terms of jump-scares and kills, but by comparison to its source material “better” doesn’t really signify much.
